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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Walkdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 115
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 568
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 644



    Description:
       I find this need of description tedious. A group of people are on a walk. It is a pretty path, decorated with obstacles and life.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Walkdots
    -------------------------------------------


    We did run away
    down the orange and red paved road
    the trees did lean into us, the rain did drop from every leaf that knew our names

    And along the way
    to where we were going
    this path that may just lead us in a new direction, is covered with stones and berries that feed birds dodging in and out of her hair

    they skipped this way
    no cars or lamp posts to light the road when the night fell
    down this path
    and that one
    simply covering distance to get to were they were going

    and only she would know that place
    and only he would follow




    Submitted on 2006-11-14 12:03:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was really beautiful:) The only part that threw me was this line,

    "is covered with stones and "

    Is it supposed to be "its"?

    It seems like its would fit better...

    Other than that this was beautiful, it reminded me of longing and a fear of love. Like, the girl was scared to be with him, so she kept moving, kept running and skipping away (your words). And the boy was so in love with her, he couldn't do anything but follow.

    That's what I got out of it,

    Nice job,
    Lia
    | Posted on 2006-11-14 00:00:00 | by Glassy Eyed | [ Reply to This ]
      O.o , I love this, this is beautiful which is strange because I usually like darker works but this really grabbed my attention. Really great word form and a very creative approach.
    | Posted on 2006-11-14 00:00:00 | by Porcelaine | [ Reply to This ]


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