Dance in Continuance by Valle

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: Dance in Continuance dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	Valle_Siddious
ASL Info:	24/Male/Dystopia
Elite Ratio:	2.51 - 93/94/41
Words:	77

Class/Type:	Poetry/Serious
Total Views:	970
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	529

Description:
NEW! I think i may be getting over the whole depressed poetry thing.

Dance in Continuance dots

-------------------------------------------

As i Take in a breath
and caress my last thought,
you make haste to the battle
thata's already fought.
We danced in continuance,
lost but not speaking;
Awed by the ignorence your
lives are leaking.
Cry without feeling to comfort
the sad.
Don't deal with depression.
It's only a fad.
Does the dark make us evil?
What if satan wore white?
Let us weep for the hopeless.
They're losing the fight.

Submitted on 2006-11-14 19:33:22 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  short and simple but its still so wonderful!
| Posted on 2006-11-15 00:00:00 | by Ani | [ Reply to This ]
  whoooh... you make me speechless with this one. it kind of makes me rethink the way we live.
its very well written. the only typo I see is on the fourth line. I think it's supposed to be that's.
Keep writing... you really are a tremendous poet.
ali
| Posted on 2006-11-14 00:00:00 | by Ali Marie | [ Reply to This ]
  Yes! A new one to read, yay! I love the ending of it especially, lol. It all flows very nicely, I feel. Talk to ya later! Be good, lol!

=*Mariah*=
| Posted on 2006-11-14 00:00:00 | by Ayane | [ Reply to This ]
  YES YESYES!!! i luv the line what if satin wore white!! i luv it.

and it is so amazingly true that the hopeless are loseing.

koodoes for you.

*by the way...creepy pic...
| Posted on 2006-11-14 00:00:00 | by Adden Lee | [ Reply to This ]
  if satan wore white. beautiful. wonderful. i love it. it's got great flow. brilliant imagry. like drinking kalua and cream. it's got a quiet deep undercurrent of dissatisfaction. keep it up
| Posted on 2006-11-15 00:00:00 | by in shadow | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece? 7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

125092

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.