Daddy by melancholystar

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Submission Name: Daddy dots

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Author:	melancholystar
ASL Info:	17/f/tx
Elite Ratio:	4.53 - 598/302/32
Words:	125

Class/Type:	Poetry/Depressed
Total Views:	354
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	735

Description:

Daddy

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You yelled at me today,
I thought my tears would never stop,
I didn’t do anything to you,
And you made my smile drop,
I’ve done the best I can,
Look at all I have achieved,
It has always been for you,
And never been for me,
I gave up my dream for you,
So that you might love me more,
Instead I get your anger,
And many tears I don’t adore,
Daddy I love you,
Stop making me cry,
Daddy I have been so good,
Do you want to make me die?
There is only one thing I can say,
That will make you change your ways,
And as I hang myself from this rafter,
I will still love you Daddy,
Forever after.

Submitted on 2004-05-28 18:39:40 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  now, I hardly doubt your dad hates you.. if this was about you anyways. Hmm well I guess you're a rhymer so im gonna accept that hehe

and is this about your acting thing? with parents not exactly supporting you??

good write keep in mind your dad doesn't hate you lol

Bruno
| Posted on 2004-08-06 00:00:00 | by brunov68 | [ Reply to This ]
  wow, i can relate to this so well...all im saying. its great. i didnt know you had an eliteskills site. yay! you should check out mine, if you havent already.

sarah
| Posted on 2004-06-14 00:00:00 | by Rosalynn Annett | [ Reply to This ]
  awww, dads are evil, well they can be. It's good if you can put up with your father then be fine with it...the rhym does seem sort of forced, but we all have a different style
| Posted on 2004-06-17 00:00:00 | by MyHeart2Yours | [ Reply to This ]
  I liked this one as well, though I do have to agree with the others that the rhyme scheme is a bit off in some places, also, there should have been a comma after daddy in the lines that started with it. This sounds alot like my relationship with my dad. I didn't give up a dream for him or anything like that, I just hated what he wanted me to become and he hated who I was and still does. Our relationship is pretty rocky and I have no intention of apologizing for any hurtful thing I've said to him because it was his choice to hurt me for no good reason first. But then again, I'm a Taurus and we are supposed to resent at least one parent, I guess I have to resent him, he's the only one that resents me in return.
-Kenji
| Posted on 2004-06-17 00:00:00 | by Kenji Light | [ Reply to This ]
  i love the ending i really wasn't expecting that, i get an image of a suicide note placed on a table next to a hanging body witch is a horrible image but nice to go there every once in a while thanks
| Posted on 2004-05-28 00:00:00 | by slickone113 | [ Reply to This ]
  Sound like my relationship with my father. Nice ending but I feel that the ryming was forced in some places. Other than that Good Job
| Posted on 2004-05-28 00:00:00 | by demonickitten87 | [ Reply to This ]
  it's good, but the rhyme is a bit forced. I agree it sounds like a suicide note. don't know if that's just imagination or an experience but if you need somebody to talk to just leave me a message.
| Posted on 2004-05-29 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]

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