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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: (forced writing in english i ended up liking)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Adden Lee
    ASL Info:    19/Female/Changing Always
    Elite Ratio:    2.97 - 39/35/17
    Words: 256
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 815
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1489



    Description:
       if you notice...yeah thats 5 sentances. my english teacher took us on a 'nature walk' and then told us to write on it. so this is what I did. yay me.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots(forced writing in english i ended up liking)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    The sudden burning that plisters the soft skin of my neck comes down in a blast of heat and, almost, a welcome relief from the false, stuffy, conditions air of the clostrophobic walls of the forced prison for the inoccent.

    The black heat raises up through the rubber souls on my yes-I-need-new-ones shoes, threatening to melt them away and leave me standing in a sticky, bubbling pool, but all I wish is to kick away the broken, tight cell for my feet and run across the burning heat of the ground until the plisters on my feet's bottom match those on my neck.

    The constant skrieching of a far off, unwanted bird brings a welcoming sound compared to the harsg echos of empty halls and pens scratching at the surface of dead trees now thin sheets and leaving the tattooed brand of misspelled and misused pointless words.

    However all the torchers of the outside world must be left in their proper places, while those others who don't belong must be herded back into their twenty by twenty, false lit, false cooled, hallow, so called rooms (better to be cells) once the phepard desides it is long pass the mark of when they should have been seated.

    So into your chairs, remove your dead-tree sheets and pens so you may write on the outside observations you made while amongst the natrual beauty, but you must stay in your uncomfortable, poorly-lit, unwanted cells that rest inside the walls of the prison for the innocent.




    Submitted on 2006-11-14 22:51:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Why cant my english teacher take my class on a walk? all we do is sit around and listen to her talk..*twiches*
    ummm...anyway i liked it i think that it was you were too mean on the air conditioners....(poor false air...)
    ok iam hyper but nice job!
    | Posted on 2007-03-06 00:00:00 | by darkmoonchild | [ Reply to This ]
      I think your the only person i know, other than myself, that could get something like that from a nature walk... im writing something soon, so check my poems, also, check my poem titled, sorry.
    | Posted on 2006-12-07 00:00:00 | by ellesmera | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked it alot, the only thing I didn't like about it was the "prison for the walls of the innocent" part... overall, I definitley enjoyed it and would like to read more.
    | Posted on 2006-11-16 00:00:00 | by Ygi | [ Reply to This ]
      your addvertisement hehe
    this is a cery nice wright im not one for alot of words just want you to know i like it

    kari
    | Posted on 2006-11-14 00:00:00 | by Doom_Hammer | [ Reply to This ]


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