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    dots Submission Name: restraineddots

    Author: _winky_
    ASL Info:    25/f/minnesota
    Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 664/529/96
    Words: 34
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 965
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 251

       quick thoughts, still working them out.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Dancing hand in hand,
    under a glittering sky.
    The moon becomes a spotlight,
    for that long goodbye.

    Tears flood the lake,
    from eyes full of pain.
    Years left undiscovered,
    love must be restrained.

    Submitted on 2006-11-15 22:24:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Hey kid! Long time I've been away. So, HI!!!
    ;) To your write. A million thoughts are hidding under so few words. It was well liked by me. It took me back to lonely momnets overlooking the city and pondering "what if's" and "if onlys."
    I'd personlly like to see the years change your work from just experiance alone! Or perhaps I just need to read more of your works.
    Steve-o -- Missed ya!
    | Posted on 2007-04-07 00:00:00 | by Isaac | [ Reply to This ]
      Needs to be longer! But what you have wrote so far is GREAT!!!!
    Kelley Frost
    | Posted on 2006-12-10 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      "SHort and sweet" really is the essence of this piece.

    The previously before "moon..." line really does a fantastic job of expressing the pain in this.
    | Posted on 2006-11-29 00:00:00 | by Pprophet | [ Reply to This ]
      Short and sweet, this poem is full of emotion. The line "the moon becomes a spotlight, for that long goodbye" really make me feel the meaning of this piece as i am one who has said painful goodbyes to loved ones. I love your work. x

    | Posted on 2006-11-16 00:00:00 | by elseibi | [ Reply to This ]

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