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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Kristen Gudsnuk
    ASL Info:    21/f/CT
    Elite Ratio:    5.62 - 182/229/86
    Words: 172
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1153
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1105



    Description:
       I'm having conflicted emotions about this poem. I like it... but it's so different-- especially in voice, and theme, and tone, that it bewilders me and I can't even think of a title. I feel a little self-conscious about it-- it's a bit cliché, the whole "You can do it!" thing.. hehe.. I'll admit, though, that I wrote it with the Neon Genesis Evanelion theme song ("Zankoku na Tenshi no teze", which means Cruel Angel's Thesis; teze means thesis and is an anglicism) on repeat... so if it sounds like an odd japanese translation (which I hope it doesn't, hehehe) then.. that's why.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsuntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    It seems so far away
    Lodged in mooncraters, bathed in gentle light
    Run yourself ragged, and still you drift
    On this island called Earth.
    Even if you fail, it's worth trying
    Your mind's a trajectory missle aimed at the stars
    Your body's a weak shell, can't you just discard it?
    For life is more than aging, don't watch the cracks in seashells grow
    There's more to you than the groaning
    Of weak structure under building pressure

    Fantasy seems a breath away
    But you keep breathing and still cannot grasp it
    The sky is an invisible wall, pushing your head to the ground
    The past, too, is boxed into your mind
    Your feeble arm tries to caress a memory
    But you touch only air
    The future will be past someday
    When sitting by a fire enveloped in reminiscence
    Will you want to dip back into that distant time?

    You can't be a legend
    But you can find another yellow moon
    Live till you die and gaze down at this island.




    Submitted on 2006-11-15 23:39:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Fantasy seems a breath away
    But you keep breathing and still cannot grasp it
    The sky is an invisible wall, pushing your head to the ground
    The past, too, is boxed into your mind
    Your feeble arm tries to caress a memory
    But you touch only air
    The future will be past someday
    When sitting by a fire enveloped in reminiscence
    Will you want to dip back into that distant time?

    You can't be a legend
    But you can find another yellow moon
    Live till you die and gaze down at this island.



    The last half of this post is a powerful appeal to those who live rich fantasy lives to press on toward a very real shore and mold the world into a more realistic/functional environment than that which currently exists for them. Of course, since you've admitted to being a hardcore Japanophile and anime addict, the opposite may be true. You may be finding the 'real' world to be an unappealing, boring place that can't possibly match the energy of good animation.

    I believe you're fond of this because it adroitly states how the inner you views the world and prefers to function. I like it because the writing is well stated and thoughtful.

    Take care, young lady.
    Bill.

    | Posted on 2006-11-16 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      Fantasy seems a breath away
    But you keep breathing and still cannot grasp it
    The sky is an invisible wall, pushing your head to the ground
    The past, too, is boxed into your mind
    Your feeble arm tries to caress a memory
    But you touch only air
    The future will be past someday
    When sitting by a fire enveloped in reminiscence
    Will you want to dip back into that distant time?

    You can't be a legend
    But you can find another yellow moon
    Live till you die and gaze down at this island.



    The last half of this post is a powerful appeal to those who live rich fantasy lives to press on toward a very real shore and mold the world into a more realistic/functional environment than that which currently exists for them. Of course, since you've admitted to being a hardcore Japanophile and anime addict, the opposite may be true. You may be finding the 'real' world to be an unappealing, boring place that can't possibly match the energy of good animation.

    I believe you're fond of this because it adroitly states how the inner you views the world and prefers to function. I like it because the writing is well stated and thoughtful.

    Take care, young lady.
    Bill.

    | Posted on 2006-11-16 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]


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