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    dots Submission Name: The Pain In My Heartdots

    Author: annie smith
    ASL Info:    20/f
    Elite Ratio:    5.26 - 75/61/24
    Words: 426
    Class/Type: Poetry/Trapped
    Total Views: 778
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2764

       Hey guys. i know this is a little different than what i usually write srry about that. i wrote it right after me and my parents had a big fight.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Pain In My Heartdots

    My heart is breaking.
    The presures' toll is taking.

    There are tears in my eyes.
    My soul never flies.

    I hold back my tears
    But my heart knows my fears.

    Its ripping at me.
    Why cant anyone see

    The screaming and shouts,
    The numerous pouts

    They are taring me apart
    Just a burden for me to cart.

    How much more can i take?
    For sure, soon, ill break.

    Whats the point of pain?
    It drives me insain.

    When will it leave?
    It hurts too much to believe,

    It hurts too much to hope.
    Its all fraying my rope.

    Some one, please,
    Hear my plead on the breaze.

    What IS calm
    Just a word in dress and blam

    My poor heart still beating
    Where the pain never stops breading

    Where is every one?
    Out haveing fun?

    When i need them the most,
    They head twards the coast.

    Im alone in this world
    Where only hate is unfurled.

    Why me?
    Cant you see?

    Im just an empty shell
    Under a frightful spell

    Thats who i am
    As weak as a baby lamb

    All this yelling, all this hate
    Has sealed my fate

    I wil go insain
    I cant stand the pain.

    Make the hurt go away
    Make it find a new place to play

    But it cant be removed
    My situation cant be improved

    It has burrowed deep in my soul
    Leaving me an empty hole

    Will the complaints ever siece?
    That gripping hand ever release?

    Its eating me from inside
    To rules, it doesnt abide

    Im a play ground for pain
    Where it always has rain

    The love is banished
    Its starving and famished

    When will the beating die?
    Will i ever fly?

    Will love ever play
    Where hate has no say?

    This pain must stop
    I wont survive the next drop.

    I need a rest,
    To sleep on the breast,

    Of a strong, loving, man
    One who doesnt repreman

    But who is this someone?
    My search for he has long ago begun

    But no one i found
    Could make my love sound

    In my heart and soul
    To dance around like a prancing foul

    To make my soul take flight
    To give me back my might

    Ease my burden, mt hurt, my pain
    Hurry! Quick! im becoming insain!

    Im fading fast
    This might be my last....

    Submitted on 2006-11-16 15:19:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Hmm... this ones quite an emotional one, don't worry, I like passionate stuff and all that, I just dislike the fact that people always think they're alone. Nobodies ever alone really, they always have someone to turn to. Anyways it was a good poem. Shadow
    | Posted on 2007-10-28 00:00:00 | by Shadow24968 | [ Reply to This ]
      Heh I'm quite fond of the couplet rhyming scheme myself *pokes some poems of hers* so I found this quite lovely. Your couplets are quite short and fast and the rhythm is easy to follow. Despite the occasional spelling error, I was still not distracted.
    Cheers, keep writing.
    | Posted on 2006-11-17 00:00:00 | by Azuire | [ Reply to This ]
      I love your poem its very good
    | Posted on 2006-11-17 00:00:00 | by ty | [ Reply to This ]
      Alright. A couple spelling errors, and I'm not one for the two line rhyming scheme, but it's all good. :D I saw what you were trying to get across. ^___^;

    -- Jason Clement
    | Posted on 2006-11-16 00:00:00 | by Jason_Clement | [ Reply to This ]
      Honesty: This is a totally fun peom to read out loud! I really like your rhyming scheme, though is some parts it seemed a bit forced, like the two lines together don't really make that much sense. I think you should look over your peom a little, there are some spelling errors and I like seeing (')s but that's just me. (For the spelling errors I'm not talking about 'insain' I thought that was a clever move to add flow to your peom!)
    | Posted on 2006-11-16 00:00:00 | by Jakirina | [ Reply to This ]

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