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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The First Stage: Denialdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: loveispain
    ASL Info:    23/f/ME
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 283/198/51
    Words: 274
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 843
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1809



    Description:
       Loss is a process. It's a process of grief. This here was everything I thought...in the first stage..of Denial.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe First Stage: Denialdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The life. The one in our future,
    You wouldn't give that up.
    You're not doing this,
    Not to me, Not to us.
    You wouldn't break my heart,
    And make me cry, and hurt,
    With a pain deeper than any I've felt.
    The life, The one in our future,
    You wouldn't give that up.

    I'll put my hands to your lips and make the words
    Stop.
    I'll kiss you softly, and change your mind.
    I'll take your hand and make you remember,
    Remember everything we had.
    I will close my eyes, say your name like,
    I've never said it before.
    And this will all be over. God, Let it Be over.
    The life. The one in our future,
    You wouldn't give that up.

    Stop joking, and playing.
    You're killing me, debilitating me,
    But you would never do this to me,
    You'd never hurt me like this.
    This day, this life, this decision,
    Is not reality.
    You're confused, and hurting, and tired.
    You've lost the love, the hope,
    But you don't mean to do this.
    You wouldn't throw away the time,
    All of the smiles, and looks, and touches.
    The life. The one we were going to make together,
    You wouldn't give that up.

    Stop pretending. It's not funny.
    Stop sounding like that, stop looking like that.
    Just stop, and think for one second,
    About what this means.
    About what all of this means...all that we're losing.
    No...I know...In my heart....
    You're not doing this.
    Not to me.
    Not to us.
    The life. The one in our future,
    You wouldn't give that up.




    Submitted on 2006-11-16 15:39:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Hey. There's nothing I want to bash about this write, because it's clear to me this is all emotion more than words. You were able to bring me back to my own denial stage, and if it weren't for the fact that I am so sick of crying, I probably would've broke down all over again.
    The repitition was a really strong part of it I think. Usually I don't like things being repeated too many times, because it seems to drag on. However, you were able to reword the same thoughts and feelings, and make each line somewhat different - different enough to share another angle of that pain, but similar enough to really beat it into our heads that love is pain, pain is love and somewhere in the middle of all of that is denial.
    That was a really great write. And I sincerely hope that you are getting stronger about this whole thing...
    Keep writing. Good luck and best wishes. -Stefhy-
    | Posted on 2006-12-09 00:00:00 | by stefhy | [ Reply to This ]
      That's actually pretty accurate. Like, no one's ever broken up with me- but I've had people I thought were best friends that I'd known for years and been close with tell me they didn't want to be friends anymore. And you're right. The first stage of that is to totally deny it. I remember she said, "I don't want to be friends anymore." And I just shrugged my shoulders and said, "Okay then" and walked over to the other side of the bleachers and checked my text messages. And then it ended up sinking in later that day that she wasn't kidding, and things were going to change. But yeah, good write.

    Since recirprocity is my policy, please comment back on one of my works. Thank you =]
    | Posted on 2006-11-16 00:00:00 | by Aurora-Borealis | [ Reply to This ]


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