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    dots Submission Name: "Blue Ruin City"dots

    Author: Martin S. Allen
    ASL Info:    33 male
    Elite Ratio:    3.98 - 671/237/43
    Words: 67
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1061
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 464


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots"Blue Ruin City"dots

    Black waters and floating bodies
    Loved ones lost and searching
    Under watchful eyes above
    Ensnared in mental chains
    Red streams flow with blood
    Undying and undefeated souls
    In time will find their way home
    Near or far when waters recede
    Calling out from where they lay
    In seasons of fear and hate
    Tattered and tied to circumstance
    Young and old found life or death

    Submitted on 2006-11-16 16:58:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i see a flood here but also maybe war with the flood used as metaphor...

    those finding their way home..will be changed forever...even if they have survived physically, the emotional and mental part of them will forever feel the black waters...

    intensity in this compact write.

    | Posted on 2011-05-08 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
    This is a really sad write where I feel you are referring to a depressed person who cant seem to find a way out of their depression
    You describe the sadness flawlessly as sadly I have been in many depressions in life
    Your first line black waters and floating bodies is a very vivid and quite accurate description of depression
    I may be wrong buit I believe you referred to the bodies as floating because that would signify hope because they simply refuse to succomb to their depression
    GREAT JOB!!!
    God Bless
    | Posted on 2007-09-11 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      at first it reminded me of hurricane katrina. then it had a darker vibe.
    actually after re-reading it a few times it still reminds me of katrina. like if they made a horror movie about it.
    nice and dark
    | Posted on 2007-03-20 00:00:00 | by HappyBuddaH | [ Reply to This ]
      excellent piece of work. my favorite part I have to say
    "Calling out from where they lay
    In seasons of fear and hate
    Tattered and tied to circumstance
    Young and old found life or death"
    ends it perfectly~great job~take care :)
    | Posted on 2006-12-13 00:00:00 | by DesecratedDream | [ Reply to This ]
      MR MARTIN S ALLEN !!!!!!! good to see you posting up something again this is an absolutely great poem the imagery was so rich and amazing you felt as though you were in the black waters of death ( so I percieved it to be) it kind of reminded me of the movie the mummy where it was like that sea of death thing IDK if you saw that movie or remember that part but this poem was excellent.

    much LOVE
    | Posted on 2006-11-28 00:00:00 | by James Reyna | [ Reply to This ]
      I was drawn by the title. The imagery you built here is brilliant, the expressive and word arranging style is great and the atmosphere is just the way it should be with this theme. Excellent piece!
    | Posted on 2006-11-17 00:00:00 | by Porcelaine | [ Reply to This ]
      This draws a very strong picture in my mind. It's dark and descriptive, something appeals to myself strongly. So in my opinion this was brilliant.

    In time will find there way home

    did you mean 'their'?
    | Posted on 2006-11-16 00:00:00 | by Jakirina | [ Reply to This ]

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