Black waters and floating bodies
Loved ones lost and searching
Under watchful eyes above
Ensnared in mental chains
Red streams flow with blood
Undying and undefeated souls
In time will find their way home
Near or far when waters recede
Calling out from where they lay
In seasons of fear and hate
Tattered and tied to circumstance
Young and old found life or death
Martin
This is a really sad write where I feel you are referring to a depressed person who cant seem to find a way out of their depression
You describe the sadness flawlessly as sadly I have been in many depressions in life
Your first line black waters and floating bodies is a very vivid and quite accurate description of depression
I may be wrong buit I believe you referred to the bodies as floating because that would signify hope because they simply refuse to succomb to their depression
EXCELLENT AND VERY ACCURATE WORK!!!
GREAT JOB!!!
God Bless
Ron
at first it reminded me of hurricane katrina. then it had a darker vibe.
actually after re-reading it a few times it still reminds me of katrina. like if they made a horror movie about it.
nice and dark
excellent piece of work. my favorite part I have to say "Calling out from where they lay In seasons of fear and hate Tattered and tied to circumstance Young and old found life or death" ends it perfectly~great job~take care :)
MR MARTIN S ALLEN !!!!!!! good to see you posting up something again this is an absolutely great poem the imagery was so rich and amazing you felt as though you were in the black waters of death ( so I percieved it to be) it kind of reminded me of the movie the mummy where it was like that sea of death thing IDK if you saw that movie or remember that part but this poem was excellent.
I was drawn by the title. The imagery you built here is brilliant, the expressive and word arranging style is great and the atmosphere is just the way it should be with this theme. Excellent piece!
Submission Name: "Blue Ruin City"
