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    dots Submission Name: Sorrydots

    Author: Localfreak
    ASL Info:    37, Maybe, Here
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 131/123/76
    Words: 266
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1054
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1514

       I've been asked to post some of my earliest work.
    So here's a little work that is over ten years old and then some.
    It's not going to change but I'd like to know what you think

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I tried to tell you
    Tried to make you understand
    All the love I have for you
    How my heart belongs to you
    Why my soul needs your love to thrive
    But now Iíve thrown it all away
    The side of me Iíve shown you
    Embarrasses me, depresses me
    And now has made you leave me

    When I think of the time we spent together
    My mind recalls the joy and love
    When I think of times since you left
    My mind recalls the heartache, the sorrow

    Within that time, I have grown cold
    My body becoming lifeless and old
    Memories are all I have
    Of you, of us, and the time we spent
    All to be discarded by an emotional frown
    When I showed you the truth, when I let my guard down

    But babe as my body changed through the years, so has my mind
    I am growing more thoughtful more decent and kind
    The depression Iím fighting, Iím keeping at bay
    Though the pain is still there, from when you went away
    Consider returning, from wherever you went
    From where all the time since youíve gone you have spent
    Come back to my arms
    Forgive my stupidity
    Come back to me now
    Grant me my humility
    I will grovel at your feet
    From here to eternity
    If only youíd come back
    If only youíd return to me
    I need you near me I need you tonight
    Please see me again for this love should not die

    Submitted on 2006-11-16 19:03:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this is good...i realli like the way you show urself...you have guts and thats a great thing.
    | Posted on 2007-03-14 00:00:00 | by maggot4life6969 | [ Reply to This ]
      I know exactly ... except I got a good result by letting the new man meet some new women .. it's an evolving world ... couldn't make a love-match out of grovelling ... but that is still exactly how I FELT! That is a good poem. To criticize: maybe in later poems you will get good results by checking for repetitions and unnnecessary phrases. That exercise actually helps you find those sudden tremendously apt lines that feel so good to have made...one of the rewards ...
    | Posted on 2006-11-16 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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