Cold, callous, unforgiving! Get your ass up off the couch and feel something about what you've done! Dancing girls! God or no, that's just wrong! Frankly, I don't know who shimei is, even after reading the lovely comments explaining who he is, but reading this just pissed me off. Not sure if I'm pissed at the blasphemy on a whole or the idea of no remorse for such heinous deeds. Hmph! At any rate, this is obviously a very good write, as it got quite a rise out me! Well done!
I get this vision of an ego maniacal sort of fellow, and let's face reality, we know that is not right. The moment we began to discuss the idea of a creator we separated ourselves from the source of creation.
And where did you get that word shimei? I love how you are so obscure.
Don't you think propaganda has led us to where we might just want to discover the real thing? the unmentionable?just to call Him was blasphemy, much less to discuss that we doubted, that once was never named but just is?
Well, i don't know what shimei, is, but it'll serve as the name.
Remminded me a bit of Storm of Bliss's last one... and i believe the context is the same.
the line "are you certain my master" had me tripping all over myself no matter how high i jumped. it needs something, a question mark, some punctuation, something.
what i did like was the clever rhyme of
"those people I burned and butchered like dogs those souls I violated and abased...all the cursed deserved their fate"
and "of course I'm God" because here the punctuation serves you doubly, nay, seven-fold well. it's really the meat of this poem in my opinion.
and the last lines- well, the dancing girls allude to several things, could be (if my guess is right) the spoken-of virgins given to fanatics, or belly-dancers, strippers... "dancing girls" has a foreign connotation, but "bring me the remote" has a very western feel to it. In that, you ably imply that it's not a fault of a culture... but perhaps of.... culture? God/fanatic as a lazy, lecherous, cross-cultural slob.
Very interesting. Still, I'd love to know who shemei is.
This is like the Indian rope trick. The end of it is attached to...nothing. The reader here has no hint of the antecedents, and hence cannot attach meaning to much of what is being said. As a form of communication, poetry should be fairly understandable. This is not, even if one works at it a bit. I suggest you find some way to fill in at least half the blanks to give us a chance to find our way to your intended meaning. fred
I don't know who Shimei is. Does that matter? The thoughts I'm led into are wondering: if it really was God and not some megalomaniac, then how come God's servant or companion can ask "are you certain my master" ? Or again - where would God get that idea about deserving? The concept is found only amongst mammals. But not merely some megalomaniac, also some god (ordinary pagan type), would be human enough to make excuses like that. I really need to know who Shimei is, don't I?