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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Same As It Never Wasdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    57/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2777/1297/258
    Words: 63
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 587
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 457



    Description:
       darkness

    shimei is an actual person.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSame As It Never Wasdots
    -------------------------------------------


    shimei?

    yes?

    I have somewhat
    to say to thee

    say on

    those people I burned
    and butchered like dogs;
    those souls I violated
    and abased...all
    the cursed deserved
    their fate

    are you certain, my master?

    of course, I'm God
    who could be more certain?
    now send for the dancing girls
    and bring me the remote




    Submitted on 2006-11-16 19:13:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Cold, callous, unforgiving! Get your ass up off the couch and feel something about what you've done! Dancing girls! God or no, that's just wrong! Frankly, I don't know who shimei is, even after reading the lovely comments explaining who he is, but reading this just pissed me off. Not sure if I'm pissed at the blasphemy on a whole or the idea of no remorse for such heinous deeds. Hmph! At any rate, this is obviously a very good write, as it got quite a rise out me! Well done!
    | Posted on 2006-12-14 00:00:00 | by kiddo13 | [ Reply to This ]
      I get this vision of an ego maniacal sort of fellow,
    and let's face reality, we know that is not right. The
    moment we began to discuss the idea of a creator
    we separated ourselves from the source of creation.

    And where did you get that word shimei? I love how you
    are so obscure.

    Don't you think propaganda has led us to where
    we might just want to discover the real thing?
    the unmentionable?just to call Him was blasphemy,
    much less to discuss that we doubted,
    that once was never named
    but just is?

    bravo, you're keeping me amazed these days!

    Nan

    Nan
    | Posted on 2006-11-17 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      Bill, no-one knows who or what the f.uck Shimei is, so enlighten us in your description, or take it out. To me, it's just a name, and a rather foreign one at that. Perhaps Middle Eastern?

    I wasn't being rude. I just think it's funny everyone brought it up.

    As for the poem itself, I cracked up at the end. So, this particular God-persona is a Homer Simpson clone? An overfed lecherous slob?

    And you know, sometimes there's no need for elaboration. The end was the whole point to me.

    And it was fu.ckin' hilarious.

    Humour. I needed that. So do others, I think. Ha.

    Peace,

    Jase
    | Posted on 2006-11-16 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, i don't know what shimei, is, but it'll serve as the name.

    Remminded me a bit of Storm of Bliss's last one... and i believe the context is the same.

    the line "are you certain my master" had me tripping all over myself no matter how high i jumped. it needs something, a question mark, some punctuation, something.

    what i did like was the clever rhyme of

    "those people I burned
    and butchered like dogs
    those souls I violated
    and abased...all
    the cursed deserved
    their fate"


    and "of course I'm God"
    because here the punctuation serves you doubly, nay, seven-fold well. it's really the meat of this poem in my opinion.

    and the last lines- well, the dancing girls allude to several things, could be (if my guess is right) the spoken-of virgins given to fanatics, or belly-dancers, strippers... "dancing girls" has a foreign connotation, but "bring me the remote" has a very western feel to it. In that, you ably imply that it's not a fault of a culture... but perhaps of.... culture? God/fanatic as a lazy, lecherous, cross-cultural slob.

    Very interesting. Still, I'd love to know who shemei is.
    | Posted on 2006-11-16 00:00:00 | by lukewarm | [ Reply to This ]
      This is like the Indian rope trick. The end of it is attached to...nothing. The reader here has no hint of the antecedents, and hence cannot attach meaning to much of what is being said. As a form of communication, poetry should be fairly understandable. This is not, even if one works at it a bit. I suggest you find some way to fill in at least half the blanks to give us a chance to find our way to your intended meaning.
    fred
    | Posted on 2006-11-16 00:00:00 | by fredmelden | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't know who Shimei is. Does that matter? The thoughts I'm led into are wondering: if it really was God and not some megalomaniac, then how come God's servant or companion can ask "are you certain my master" ? Or again - where would God get that idea about deserving? The concept is found only amongst mammals. But not merely some megalomaniac, also some god (ordinary pagan type), would be human enough to make excuses like that. I really need to know who Shimei is, don't I?
    | Posted on 2006-11-16 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]


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