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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Unfinished Songdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 198
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 958
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1259



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsUnfinished Songdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Fate can feel the hate from which love creates.
    Death, pain, horror, grief, dogmatic statements no more belief.
    Peace is what we seek with brainís flowing leak.
    Suburban gangster wannabes,
    Legion of Television zombies.
    *Chorus*
    (Everyone fakes who they are,
    All of us take and leave deep mars,
    No one will ever be a star,
    Itís out of reach just to far,
    Left the earth with morbid scars,
    We all think we need a fast car,
    Why canít we just walk to the local bar?)

    Children all alone.
    Youth left hanging on the phone, No dial tone.
    Lost to their parents sins,
    No time to be tucked in.
    No one can touch these hearts of stone.
    Shattering and scattering generations of bones.
    Fighting this fight all alone.
    Let school become our glorified baby sitter
    Buy things we donít need become a nation of debtors.
    *Chorus*
    (Everyone fakes who they are,
    All who take and leave deep mars,
    No one will ever be a star,
    Itís out of reach just to far,
    Left the earth with morbid scars,
    We all think we need a fast car,
    Why canít we just walk to the local bar?)




    Submitted on 2004-01-28 22:50:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I can almost hear the music,,,the rhythm is good and the chorus is great. I like poems about making life simpler with more time spent with people, nature, reflection...and lots less on the material gotta-have-it-gotta-do-it-gotta-go-there pursuits. Thanks for a good song today. Silver
    | Posted on 2004-01-29 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this . I can see room for more, maybe a B section. Great idea for a song. Looking forward to seeing the finished version.
    | Posted on 2004-01-29 00:00:00 | by kblyric | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it. It has a good beat and I can dance to it. Some really poinant lines. Rings with alot of truth.
    | Posted on 2004-01-29 00:00:00 | by Scribner | [ Reply to This ]


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