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I drag the body not daring to look behind at the face of that pathetic person that always was a drag I became a murderer when I killed that person I killed her to free myself of the burden The burden that grew heavy with each passing day The night is long, the wind is cold The endless voices torturing my soul And that face, that void that tells of nothing and shows nothing I feel no regret, no guilt the deed had to be done That person, that being was taking up time It was a waste I drag the body and finally look back I take a step back and finally discover that the person that I most hated The person that I had to kill was only me That pathetic being that I killed was me My burden was me There was nothing else to take care of, only me But I couldn't take the guilt that I brought to my burden so I had to do it I drag the body once again Feeling no remorse and no pain I had to do it, the deed had to be done |
I like your poem but like Carlos said its a bit rough, I had to stop here and there but im sure if you go back to it and work on it you can smooth it out nicely and make it really flow. I like your poem it reminds me of one of mine. I really like how you painted me a picture and the feelings you conveyed as you dragged the corpse along the road. I also want to apologize for not being there when you needed me, like you have been here for me. I miss you and I promise I will pay attention but you have to do something for me too, You have to promise that when you feel like your drowning you will blow the whistle and let me know that you want my help. I love you sis. andy | Posted on 2006-11-21 00:00:00 | by ladydeathstrike | [ Reply to This ] | I really like this, I can totally relate to it and know exactly what that struggle is like. Just don't kill yourself and be replaced by someone that compromises the morals and the hard working work ethic of the person I knew before. I liked that about her, My only complaint is that its a bit rough, it needs to be smoothed out, but I'm sure you can turn this "amateur" poem into fully forged champion with the right tweaking. | | Posted on 2006-11-18 00:00:00 | by Snowball_24 | [ Reply to This ] | |