Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: All or Nothingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 148
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 881
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 916



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAll or Nothingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Donít let it slip through your hands.
    My heads under Iím choking on the sand.
    Now we only have ashes and faintly glowing ember.
    Someday in my empty eyes theyíll be things I wonít remember.
    My hearts been around and become travel-worn.
    My love is for no one I have too much leaving me forlorn.
    You leave my eyes moon-less.
    My voice has become tuneless.
    Right when Iím ready to embrace something sweet.
    Is the same time you pack your feelings and retreat.
    I gracefully compose my rage.
    Lessons backlash me I will surely learn with age.
    I know I couldnít feel any worse.
    So, I untangle my feelings in verse.
    I breath deeply and try to calm.
    Iím just glad to have felt your wondrous palm.
    My heart is filled completely with Loveís stuffing.
    So, you have to make a choice I want all or nothing.




    Submitted on 2004-01-28 22:52:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Quite true in most cases. Hopefully, those in relationships will be able to work things out successfully. Your message is easily understood, I like that. "So, I untangle my feelings in verse." Nice line. However, I think the last line, when the narrator is asking that one person about their choice, can cause a lot of pressure upon that individual. But, you're right. You have to know the truth. And if they protest, you can always be friends, right?
    | Posted on 2004-01-29 00:00:00 | by PastelSky | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    1255

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Love written by saartha
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Cover written by saartha
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Summer written by layDsayD
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Every..... written by jackz
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    I Do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    AI written by poetotoe
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry