Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: All or Nothingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 148
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 903
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 916



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAll or Nothingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Donít let it slip through your hands.
    My heads under Iím choking on the sand.
    Now we only have ashes and faintly glowing ember.
    Someday in my empty eyes theyíll be things I wonít remember.
    My hearts been around and become travel-worn.
    My love is for no one I have too much leaving me forlorn.
    You leave my eyes moon-less.
    My voice has become tuneless.
    Right when Iím ready to embrace something sweet.
    Is the same time you pack your feelings and retreat.
    I gracefully compose my rage.
    Lessons backlash me I will surely learn with age.
    I know I couldnít feel any worse.
    So, I untangle my feelings in verse.
    I breath deeply and try to calm.
    Iím just glad to have felt your wondrous palm.
    My heart is filled completely with Loveís stuffing.
    So, you have to make a choice I want all or nothing.




    Submitted on 2004-01-28 22:52:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Quite true in most cases. Hopefully, those in relationships will be able to work things out successfully. Your message is easily understood, I like that. "So, I untangle my feelings in verse." Nice line. However, I think the last line, when the narrator is asking that one person about their choice, can cause a lot of pressure upon that individual. But, you're right. You have to know the truth. And if they protest, you can always be friends, right?
    | Posted on 2004-01-29 00:00:00 | by PastelSky | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    1255

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    Stretto written by saartha
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Legends written by poetotoe
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Genesis written by saartha
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry