Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Wrap Me In Hopedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 37
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 830
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 269



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWrap Me In Hopedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Lying next to you
    in rainy-day slumber
    as peaceful as a gentle Easter,
    and when we awake
    you'll wrap me in hope,
    in perfect brightness,
    the rain purging our consciences
    like drunken weeping.






    Submitted on 2004-05-29 05:48:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Awww. I love this! I wish this were my life. So pretty... I want it! Hah... you're an excellent writer. This piece was really interesting because you made me jump up and down and be all happy cuz i want your life! *I'm strange today... don't mind me*
    | Posted on 2004-06-01 00:00:00 | by Cai | [ Reply to This ]
      this is bueatiful...short and sweet...this is my most favorite thing you have wrote...hmmmmm..defently being added to my favorites....smiles ange
    | Posted on 2004-05-31 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW

    The rain purging our consciences
    Like drunken weeping

    WOW....
    That is the BEST line you ever wrote.
    Ever.

    I'm actually just astounded by this...
    But so, so, so spot on!
    | Posted on 2004-05-29 00:00:00 | by Learah | [ Reply to This ]
      i love the imagery here- drunken weeping etc etc. A Short and sweet poem that grabs what you are trying to say and conveys it brilliantly.
    | Posted on 2004-05-29 00:00:00 | by Broken | [ Reply to This ]
      ok.
    i'm completely lost.
    i really like the title... but i just don't understand the connection between hope and rain purging consciences and drunken weeping.
    also, i don't what is a gentle Easter either :(
    | Posted on 2004-05-29 00:00:00 | by Judy | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't know how well this will stand up to psycho-analysis, but I liked it. Maybe a slight alteration of the last two lines can make the end more hazily hopeful or a continuance of earlier playfulness?
    | Posted on 2004-05-29 00:00:00 | by Lelik | [ Reply to This ]
      beautiful little love poem. I like the image of 'rainy-day slumber'. and the ending is great. it still keeps me thinking to figure it out but it sounds so good. and pieces that keep me thinking are always good.
    | Posted on 2004-05-29 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nice. I've been there before. So do y'all's minds particularly need a cleansing of the conscience? Just so all the ladies know, that's what it's like every morning when you wake up with me.
    | Posted on 2004-05-29 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]
      I guess it's a think we all need, and only we - people - can bring such wonderful hope to each other. I feel... cold and broken, and this poem has warmed me up for a moment, it's a bright piece... such power inside.
    | Posted on 2004-05-29 00:00:00 | by Nightraven | [ Reply to This ]
      this is just beautiful, dumplin. much more hopeful than your previous one (which i haven't commented on yet 'cause i'm needing to read it again...!). i love the image of "rainy day slumber." i love that stuff! and i agree with learah, the last two lines are just incredible.
    | Posted on 2004-05-29 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      Love those intertwined emotions displayed here...nostalgia and comfort, reassurance and failure. There's also a grey, apathic feeling to it, like just lying there with that special someone, both of you lost in thoughts.
    | Posted on 2004-05-29 00:00:00 | by the apocrypha | [ Reply to This ]
      hm i dunno I think there's some kind of charm missing from it.... you're starting to move towards just telling a scenario, no showing it. I'd say transform a few of those lines into exquisite little images that, although none of us had thought of it before, work so well... the only line of true merit is the title line, "wrap me in hope".... expand on the blanket thee, perhaps...
    | Posted on 2004-05-29 00:00:00 | by Cora Windover | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    12550

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Giving written by jjd
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    To written by SavedDragon
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Bond written by saartha
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Linger written by saartha
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry