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Mind Games

Author: MysterydarkPoet
ASL Info:    20/f/Aust
Elite Ratio:    3.13 - 157 /295 /173
Words: 175
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 769
Average Vote:    2.0000
Bytes: 1102


Mind Games

Children sit down to play,
They all have a lot to say
They play games of love and hate
Games of being a best mate
But not you
This is not what you do
You're a different kind
You play games of the mind
Yes I will, no I won't
Talk to me, now don't
and everyone likes you
Everyone does what you tell them to
The other kids give up their seat
They all kiss your feet
Cause you're number one
This game is so much fun
Everyone loves you, they all think the same
They're your only best friend, but it's just a game
You're bored of them though, they all bite the bait
You want someone fun, one who doesn't want to be your best mate
You want someone who doesn't give up their seat
Someone who doesn't lie at your feet
Someone you have to make the same
The stronger the person, the better the game
You're not normal, you're a different kind
You love to play games with the mind

Submitted on 2006-11-17 19:21:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  i know someone just like this! man its funny how people in totally different places of the globe can be so damned similar...human nature i suppose. i agree with it lacking a certain...i dont know what (as the french say) but i do like the message being conveyed and the cleverness of the children allegory.
| Posted on 2007-02-23 00:00:00 | by ryeker03 | [ Reply to This ]
  I agree with Aurora's comment, this poem lacks personal style, it's the kind of poem you find commonly. The rhymes are simple and your writing is being restricted by a set rule of rhyming in this one. There isn't really any imagery that is striking or that paints a picture, that would improve this poem alot. Take time on writing your poems, make sure they are saying what you want them to say.
| Posted on 2006-11-18 00:00:00 | by Silenced Hope | [ Reply to This ]
  I like the premise of the poem, but what I personally think it lacks is style. Some symbolism, some metaphor, some advanced vocabulary, and just overall figurative language. I think infusing some of that into your writing will give you more of a voice, and give your poetry more depth and beauty. Hope that helps.

Since reciprocity is my policy, please comment back on one of my works. Thank you =]
| Posted on 2006-11-17 00:00:00 | by Aurora-Borealis | [ Reply to This ]

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