[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: The coxinutant waterdots

    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 259
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 1212
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1470


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe coxinutant waterdots

    The coxinutant water rippled over velvet smooth rocks. Rocks arranging from fist to fingernail sizes. Gently murmuring the water caressed each stone as if a long lost lover than as quickly rushing off to love the next.
    I stood staring down at this display imagining that I am the water in between the rocks just moving away from one lover and preparing to embrace the next. Each rock I caress I shape and my influence never fades only withers away at the beautiful stones remaining with it forever. I muse rather like the water that my gentle handling of such precious stones can truly wither solid mass. That a life giving force over time can destroy an established structure merely by rushing over it.
    My attention stranded from the thought provoking water for the betterment of my unstable emotions and chanced a glance skyward. A lovely yellow bird streaked across a backdrop of blue. The comparison of pigments tantalized over contour of my eye relaying it back to my mind and freezing both mind and picture with lack of thought. A well welcomed reprieve from thoughts of water and rocks and of lovers to come and lovers gone.
    The bird was a yellow solar flare passing by as if a phoenix briefly appearing to light my heart on fire again or rather my heart is the phoenix burning so bright and powerful that it renders itself obsolete by using up all resources of energy and turns to ash and lays till beckoned upon to rise again.

    Submitted on 2004-01-28 23:30:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Nice imagery, similes, metaphors... you used the reference to lovers twice...
    | Posted on 2004-01-29 00:00:00 | by MzJae | [ Reply to This ]
      why use sexual terminology, is there a hidden meaning, refering to the word coxinutant, but I do like the reference to the phoenix, is this suposed to be a sexual poem
    | Posted on 2004-01-29 00:00:00 | by brokenbatman | [ Reply to This ]
      Pretty cool. I like your similies as well. The part about the water and the rocks reminds me of one of my favorite songs. It's called "Rolling River God". Here's part of it

    Rolling river god
    little stones are smooth
    only once the water passes through
    And so I am a stone
    Rough and grainy still
    tryin' to reconcile
    this river's chill

    but when I close my eyes
    and feel you rushin' by
    I know that time brings change
    and change takes time
    but when the sunset comes
    my prayer might be this one
    that you might pick me up
    and notice that I am
    just a little smoother
    in your hand

    Absolutely beautiful.
    | Posted on 2004-01-29 00:00:00 | by kblyric | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    The World written by jjd
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Shi written by ShyOne
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    untitled written by ShyOne
    prison written by ShyOne
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Carry written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]