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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The coxinutant waterdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 259
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 1233
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1470



    Description:
       


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    dotsThe coxinutant waterdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The coxinutant water rippled over velvet smooth rocks. Rocks arranging from fist to fingernail sizes. Gently murmuring the water caressed each stone as if a long lost lover than as quickly rushing off to love the next.
    I stood staring down at this display imagining that I am the water in between the rocks just moving away from one lover and preparing to embrace the next. Each rock I caress I shape and my influence never fades only withers away at the beautiful stones remaining with it forever. I muse rather like the water that my gentle handling of such precious stones can truly wither solid mass. That a life giving force over time can destroy an established structure merely by rushing over it.
    My attention stranded from the thought provoking water for the betterment of my unstable emotions and chanced a glance skyward. A lovely yellow bird streaked across a backdrop of blue. The comparison of pigments tantalized over contour of my eye relaying it back to my mind and freezing both mind and picture with lack of thought. A well welcomed reprieve from thoughts of water and rocks and of lovers to come and lovers gone.
    The bird was a yellow solar flare passing by as if a phoenix briefly appearing to light my heart on fire again or rather my heart is the phoenix burning so bright and powerful that it renders itself obsolete by using up all resources of energy and turns to ash and lays till beckoned upon to rise again.




    Submitted on 2004-01-28 23:30:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Nice imagery, similes, metaphors... you used the reference to lovers twice...
    | Posted on 2004-01-29 00:00:00 | by MzJae | [ Reply to This ]
      why use sexual terminology, is there a hidden meaning, refering to the word coxinutant, but I do like the reference to the phoenix, is this suposed to be a sexual poem
    | Posted on 2004-01-29 00:00:00 | by brokenbatman | [ Reply to This ]
      Pretty cool. I like your similies as well. The part about the water and the rocks reminds me of one of my favorite songs. It's called "Rolling River God". Here's part of it

    Rolling river god
    little stones are smooth
    only once the water passes through
    And so I am a stone
    Rough and grainy still
    tryin' to reconcile
    this river's chill

    but when I close my eyes
    and feel you rushin' by
    I know that time brings change
    and change takes time
    but when the sunset comes
    my prayer might be this one
    that you might pick me up
    and notice that I am
    just a little smoother
    in your hand

    Absolutely beautiful.
    | Posted on 2004-01-29 00:00:00 | by kblyric | [ Reply to This ]


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