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    dots Submission Name: Gravitydots

    Author: Soul-Hugger
    ASL Info:    33/F/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 409/222/66
    Words: 62
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1056
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 373


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Since gravity holds me to this chair;
    I feel sustained but somewhat anaware
    of how it would feel to soar through the air,
    or float like unseen vapour into the anywhere.

    Since I feel pain and the need to cry;
    must I question the reason we die,
    must I decipher the silent answers that reply,
    when I ask and wonder why?

    Submitted on 2006-11-19 00:52:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    1: >_<
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I'm like Azure: asking a poem that I am reading, to be penetrating and show some strange or clear figure of a vision - or whatever - the poet has clawed out of the experience in the poem.

    Well, I could criticize by noticing that you don't seem to be very clear about where you got to, and so I'm not very clear about what I just read.

    Or I could just tell you how much I like this poem because it brings me back to the strong but feeble emotion of such cast-loose moments, which I guess are familiar to everybody!

    Two comments that don't seem to go together very well but anyway ...
    | Posted on 2010-05-30 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      It would make a good child's poem, to say the least, what with a nice little rhyme and a hiding meter in there. I feel like there's a juvenile sentiment deep in the poem, not an innocent type though. A naive view, a antsy perspective on being miserable and affected by life, by being held down by the gravity and reality of life and the loss of innocence. Yet you still imagine or reminisce on what used to be, what could be happiness, what could be there for you to embrace. Glued to your chair.
    Children usually feel sadness when they first realize that they are mortal and will not live forever. The first people they usually think about dying are their parents. For the obvious reasons. Some children will think that their toys will die. They don't really absorb that they're also mortal and will die. It's never something fully absorbed either because there is still the fear of death, pretty much innate in every human being- hence why we live to distract ourselves. But this poem really tunes into that tiny mind space where they imagine these things. Squared. Small. A narrow frame of mind.
    | Posted on 2009-09-10 00:00:00 | by JenFlynn | [ Reply to This ]
      Yay something significantly longer than three lines.
    Your first stanza is quite funny really (as in funny HAHA) and if I may express it in almost childlike wonder, unable to feel how it is to fly because of a happy random force called Gravity.
    The second stanza appears more mature, and since we're sitting on a chair unable to fly we must wonder about death? Hmm why is this person feeling pain and the need to cry suddenly (apart from rhyming purposes)
    May I ask and wonder why?
    | Posted on 2006-11-20 00:00:00 | by Azuire | [ Reply to This ]

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