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    dots Submission Name: Casino Lightsdots

    Author: Liv2LoveThePain
    ASL Info:    19 - F - Philly
    Elite Ratio:    4.23 - 1527/1515/256
    Words: 70
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 958
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 479


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCasino Lightsdots

    Acid cloaked rain hits the freeway.
    Mimes put on costumes at night.
    Shadows rise up from the water
    (wraiths blocking out red street lights).

    Neon diamonds veil sick rooftops
    while gold chandeliers crash down.
    The moon hangs from a wire
    as this city starts to drown...

    And that's why I love your ocean
    when it rinses life away.
    So hate me like casino lights
    or bring back yesterday.

    Submitted on 2006-11-20 22:17:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      Absolutely outstanding imagery in this piece. It's a mark of true quality when one can close his or her eyes upon completion of a poem such as this and see everything that the author sees. Great job.
    | Posted on 2007-02-04 00:00:00 | by Endless River | [ Reply to This ]
      beautiful descriptions! i love the way you paint the picture without directly stating the facts. my favorite line is:
    neon diamonds veil sick rooftops

    neat stuff you've got going. i also think it ends a little abruptly, but maybe that was your intent.
    i dont' really understand 'hate me like casino lights' cuz i see no reason to hate casino lights, but maybe it's more abstract?

    another amazing piece from an amazing person. write on!
    | Posted on 2006-11-23 00:00:00 | by LoneWolf | [ Reply to This ]
      You kind of remind me of myself. You need a challenge and your not happy with the life you have right now. I maybe wrong but I don't think so. This poem kind of opens your soul to let everyone kind of get a peek at whats underneth the hood? Does not matter if your rich or poor , kind or mean just be real right?
    This was so intence! Great write !!!!
    just showing some Luv.
    Kelley Frost
    | Posted on 2006-11-21 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      I guess I am first to comment...and because you are such a great writer I want to be honest with you...when i first read this i didn't like it but when i read back through i realized it was just deep prehapes deeper than i had originally prepared myself for, after a second reading I now have changed my mind to some degree..there are still portions I don't quite understand fully but I really want to and i guess that alone qualifies this as a good write...ofcourse there were strong part that really stood out but i think the comparision of casino light and the ocean was difficult for me process..but the good news is I still love this and everything else you write

    | Posted on 2006-11-20 00:00:00 | by L.L.COLLINS | [ Reply to This ]
      the scene is beautifully disturbing. i love it. it was probably your purpose to end abrupt, but i still think there's one more stanza in here somewhere. it's not at the end, but at some point in the middle. still, the scene is amazing. i could definitely feel your writing. it comes right off of the page.
    | Posted on 2006-11-20 00:00:00 | by vbnz | [ Reply to This ]

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