beautiful descriptions! i love the way you paint the picture without directly stating the facts. my favorite line is: neon diamonds veil sick rooftops
neat stuff you've got going. i also think it ends a little abruptly, but maybe that was your intent. i dont' really understand 'hate me like casino lights' cuz i see no reason to hate casino lights, but maybe it's more abstract?
another amazing piece from an amazing person. write on!
You kind of remind me of myself. You need a challenge and your not happy with the life you have right now. I maybe wrong but I don't think so. This poem kind of opens your soul to let everyone kind of get a peek at whats underneth the hood? Does not matter if your rich or poor , kind or mean just be real right? This was so intence! Great write !!!! just showing some Luv. Kelley Frost
I guess I am first to comment...and because you are such a great writer I want to be honest with you...when i first read this i didn't like it but when i read back through i realized it was just deep prehapes deeper than i had originally prepared myself for, after a second reading I now have changed my mind to some degree..there are still portions I don't quite understand fully but I really want to and i guess that alone qualifies this as a good write...ofcourse there were strong part that really stood out but i think the comparision of casino light and the ocean was difficult for me process..but the good news is I still love this and everything else you write
the scene is beautifully disturbing. i love it. it was probably your purpose to end abrupt, but i still think there's one more stanza in here somewhere. it's not at the end, but at some point in the middle. still, the scene is amazing. i could definitely feel your writing. it comes right off of the page.