[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: The linedots

    Author: freshcookies
    Elite Ratio:    4.15 - 63/77/45
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 456
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 506


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe linedots

    When does friendship cross into love?
    Somewhere far behind us by now.
    And where is the boundary between love and romance?
    Have we crossed that too? Or not yet?
    Will we ever?
    Maybe Iím standing right on the line.
    I canít see how we fit together.
    I canít see how we fit apart.
    Iíve wondered for a long time.
    Do we cross that line together, or separately?
    And how will we know what to do
    If we both end up on the other side?

    Submitted on 2006-11-21 00:27:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      defintely an issue i think we all have dealt with, so this piece has a universal appeal. I like the ideas you push of uncertainty. I would say maybe take these thoughts of "crossing-lines", confusion, and apssion and wrap them up into a more vivid metaphor. Pull out those images that really explicate the confusion and love.

    i really enjoyed this write.

    "And where is the boundary between love and romance?"

    indeed a loaded question

    | Posted on 2006-11-21 00:00:00 | by googie | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh...The 'line'...*sighs*

    That bloody line will be the death of me...I'm glad soemone's written a poem about it (of course i'd have never thought to do so myself lol)

    I like this because of the way you've written it, more a poetic discussion than anything. The multitude of questions only help to communicate the feelings of confusion we feel when unsure about our feelings (especially ones between 'friends')

    Also one more thing (though I'm not sure because it might be how you spell it in America) but seperately is spelt with an E not an A
    | Posted on 2006-11-21 00:00:00 | by Tali | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]