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    dots Submission Name: A Fiery Whisperdots

    Author: forestspirit
    ASL Info:    21/m/inside
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 58/45/27
    Words: 301
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1185
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1942

    A dedication to Fiery Whisper. An ode to the Princess...

    A reflection to "The Princess and Him" - to me which will always be "The Princess and the Rye" - a Fiery Whisper poem.

    To the most enchanting being I ever met...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Fiery Whisperdots

    Shadows cast, a howling wind being blown
    Ages past, and the silence had flown.
    There upon misty mountains ride;
    A pair of wings with the ailing tide.

    Ravens fly, a soul awaken from ancient time
    Eagles cry, tolling of bells and the melody chime.
    Through barren lands on muddy boots;
    Horses gallop over frozen roots;

    Weather rust, a castle torn down to the ground
    Stagnant dust, a chest full of treasure found.
    The pair of wings stretched out wide;
    A princess walks in the with a warrior's stride.

    Mountains high, a horse he found on the snowy plain
    Senses lie, instincts and madness of the dragon's bane.
    Through a valley of darkness a castle edge shows;
    The ruins of the drawbridge, under moonlight glows.

    Broken lust, the spells wielded by might - hers
    Given trust, to the one - of the stars.
    Chant from the lores; her eyes a blue smoulder,
    Enchanted mail and wings on her shoulder.

    Feeble cry, deadened senses into numbness
    Feelings die, surroundings consumed by darkness.
    A long splash under the pouring rain;
    On a puddle of mud lies the dragon's bane.

    In a blur, he sensed someone near.
    From afar, she saw an old fear.
    She cast a spell; summoning the spirits of five
    The ringing bell; to fulfill the prophecy they strive.

    In a forest near, they rode on till she found.
    In a feat of fear, she knew that he was bound.
    They clasp their hands; wait till morning heaves,
    On a throne of trees amidst green leaves.

    The shadow cast; the forest under a pair of wings
    With daylight past, a choir of nightingale sings.
    The ravens fly; lights of darkness put up a fight
    The heavens cry tidings, of the princess and her knight.

    Submitted on 2006-11-21 05:45:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      So what do I write?

    Your dedication came as a pleasant surprise. Not that I didnt expect you to mention me, but whoa! So much? And so I must send you a hug here and also mention that I do love you very much.

    It doesnt sound much like a comment to your poem, but what can I do? Its just very personal. But then again, all you wanted were thoughts, so I suppose what I say is appropriate.

    I noticed the way you changed scenes first off. No actually the very first item to catch my attention was the mention of "wings". Somehow the "pair of wings" brings up a neater image, more pure or more fragile, I don't know what. And I knew you would mention the princess and the night. I guess thats because you mentioned "stolen" so many times. It's not stolen, okay? Its just a very appropriate and a rather beautiful link. I didn't think, you cared much for spirits. In my poem, I just wanted a lot of supernatural beings, I wanted the setting to be as away from "wretched world" settings as possible. But I didn't know that line would strike you as anything.

    I liked the whole atmosphere of the poem. Honestly put, you draw up really neat images. And you have all the elements that I really like. For starters, the "howling wind". I can see the wind howling, like a whiff of smoke, going about here and there and scaring the world. Is super cool. Or bells tolling. That gives this very distinct suspense filled, nightly character. Forgive me for stereotyping, but certain elements have steadfast images attached. I did mention the way my head went whack with barren, muddy and frozen, right? Its pretty much the same case. And horses. I love horses, I love galloping horses, I love the idea of footprints left over frozen roots, the whole trample. Neat.

    "Weather rust...Warrior's stride." Thats my favourite part of the poem. I read it maybe a dozen times over. I don't know why. Wait, I'll explain. All the rhymes in this part (and in others, but this especially) are perfect. One word simply seems to come after the next. Its got this flow, that I love. And the princess sounds super cool here. (:D)

    Remember that conversation on August 8, I think. I had this horse, and you had to reach this place guarded by ravens. We had this entire excursion, that I particularly enjoyed. And there, you mentioned as to how you were tainted and you had to reach this place and be cleared off. And we met these creatures of light and there was a passage and all that. Did you think of that while writing this? It seems as though you did, or maybe you just like that kind of excursion. :) I loved that adventure. It would be super sweet if you had that in mind.

    From the part where you mention, "In a blur.." the poem picks up pace. "On the throne of trees amidst green leaves." That would be my favourite spot of that world. And morning heaves? I can see morning scurrying away, picking up its tail and going like, see you later night. (Lol). No, not part of the poem, though. The poem does not allow for random ridiculity. Its just very surreal. "The shadow cast; the forest under a pair of wings," almost outdoes all the other lines. So okay, I have too many favourite lines. But what to do? I really love the poem. Im glad the princess met her knight. :)

    Lots of love.
    | Posted on 2006-11-21 00:00:00 | by fiery whisper | [ Reply to This ]

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