[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Cat's Cradledots

    Author: kiddo13
    ASL Info:    28/F/TN
    Elite Ratio:    5.28 - 70/61/22
    Words: 162
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 840
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 908

       I was asked to do a collaboration with this brilliant poet, whom I have much love and respect for, and this was the outcome. If you've never written with anyone else you should give it a shot... it's amazing the turns the writing can take!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCat's Cradledots

    Cat's Cradle-

    This is my game - my life
    my sanity
    My hundred years to impact humanity

    I'm driven to live
    to play - succeed
    With words to make, even cold hearts, bleed

    There lies my pen, my tools,
    my sword
    my strength lies within, I rule this world

    Creating a rythym - a beat
    a line,
    I'll shape it, remold it, and make it mine

    I am a writer, a man
    an image, a being,
    an embodiment of words, that I concieve.

    I am a poet, a woman
    a devil, a queen
    an illustrious vision of what's not yet seen.

    I am strength, a human
    apart we are two,
    but there is nothing, as one, that we cannot do.

    A collaboration with J.L. Brooks

    Submitted on 2006-11-21 14:08:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I like this actually, the rhytm was unusual and fancy, it had to be read kinda fast, but I liked how it sounded. You draw a pretty good picture of he thoughts of poets nd use your words short but expressive.

    It was a nice read, fun and interesting.

    I ecpecially enjoyed the last two stanzas.. :)

    | Posted on 2006-11-21 00:00:00 | by ChrystalR | [ Reply to This ]
      I think collaberating would be wierd i mean in a studio with spoken word and rap and the other person right there sure but over the internet whew. Anyway I can see evidence of a write like me and of course your stlye. There are a few things I'd bash but it's not really fair since he's not here either. If you want me to give my 1 cent let me know. Why not my 2 cents? Because I'm a stingy [censored]. HA Ha Ha!

    I like the rythm it must have been difficult I hyave trouble maintaining my own rhythm sometimes. The rhyme ccauses this piece to seem shorter than it really is, but not rushed.
    | Posted on 2006-11-21 00:00:00 | by shaman | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]