Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Forget-Me-Notdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: precious_poetry
    ASL Info:    19 F TN
    Elite Ratio:    3.17 - 137/145/67
    Words: 271
    Class/Type: Poetry/Broken
    Total Views: 530
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1733



    Description:
       This isn't all that good. I was very upset when I wrote it and payed no mind to how well it was written. I haven't changed anything yet. But I may rewrite it later, try to make it sound a little better. Open to suggestions, whatever. Enjoy... if you can.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsForget-Me-Notdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I let you have it,
    What was left of my heart.
    I trusted you with my love,
    And you rip me apart.
    My tears couldn't possibly,
    Continue to flow,
    I've cried so many nights,
    And I can't let you go.

    My heart tortured,
    By the sound of your voice,
    My love for you betrayed,
    By your one simple choice.
    I'm your doll, a toy to you,
    And you incite so much pain.
    Prying at my soul with your words,
    And killing the happiness within.

    Without you here beside me,
    I feel lost and alone.
    Fooled yet again, by man,
    All empathy is gone.
    You are the noose around my neck,
    And the cold blade on my skin.
    Threatening me with abandonment,
    Killing me with words left unspoken.

    Admit to it, if you will,
    I mean nothing more to you,
    Than a night in the bed,
    No words you spoke were true.
    You lie to me, to get what you want,
    And feel not an ounce of remorse.
    Perhaps you'll shed a tear,
    When you stumble upon my cold corpse.

    I've died inside because of this,
    And I can never be revived.
    Apathy, your weapon of choice,
    I had no chance to survive.
    With no reason to go on,
    What have I to live for?
    Perhaps I have nothing, and...
    Habitual breathing is such a bore..

    How will you feel then?
    To know I am dead,
    And you wear the fault,
    On top of your head...
    Miss me when I'm gone.
    Think of me as I rot...
    My death, a gift for you,
    Your little Forget-Me-Not...




    Submitted on 2006-11-21 15:36:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      oh my lordd. we got a hot onee. <-wheres that frommm ?? haha i dont knoww. but this is the sheeitt babe. its so good. your amazinggg.

    x0
    | Posted on 2006-12-09 00:00:00 | by DontLetGo421 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. So Raw and so original. I like it very much.
    It might sound better if you change rip into ripped. Besides that, everything is great. I feel your emotion. I can relate. Very good write :)


    Ciao,

    }i{Renae}i{
    | Posted on 2006-11-24 00:00:00 | by Poetic_tragedy6 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    126003

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Records I written by Raphael
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Shut Up written by annie0888

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry