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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sweet Sensesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Priestess
    ASL Info:    21/female/usa
    Elite Ratio:    2.22 - 49/118/51
    Words: 180
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 845
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 918



    Description:
       Personally I don't like it. I think it sounds to corny. But its always good to get a second opinion, so please comment.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSweet Sensesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sweet, fiery passion is my guide tonight.
    Let the deep love in my heart overwhelm me.

    I need to taste you; let me scrape your welcoming flesh with my willing teeth. Let me suck the very essence of you from your body.

    I need to feel you; let me make heat rise to your cheeks with my smooth ministrations. Let me touch you, for you are the only person worthy of my touch.

    I need to smell you; let the hot sweat drip off your body and fill my senses with sweet ecstasy. Let me make you work your hardest.

    I need to hear you; let me make you moan in pleasure. Let me listen to your sighs of content.

    I need to see you; let me see to the inside of your heart. Let me see your beautiful smiling face.

    Unfortunately this passion must come to an end, but I promise to lay with you until the sun rises.
    My love.




    Submitted on 2006-11-21 17:46:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like the flow of the poem kept me reading, Sweet way to write, ty
    | Posted on 2006-11-27 00:00:00 | by ty | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the idea, behind this piece, very different and intriguing, its flowed smoothly and make me think about both sorrow, happines, and erotic pleasure, like the ending the twist was pretty good,.

    "Sweet, fiery passion is my guide tonight.
    Let the deep love in my heart overwhelm me."

    Liked how you start it, with just a tad to the erotic and love in overwhelming maner.

    "need to smell you; let the hot sweat drip off your body and fill my senses with sweet ecstasy. Let me make you work your hardest"

    hehe well this made me think of sweat, now really pleasent in this piece, anyway its very well structured and it keeps the interest as its fullist.

    "Unfortunately this passion must come to an end, but I promise to lay with you until the sun rises.
    My love."

    I liked the ending very much,. As I said before,. the erotic presents is very intriguing to the reader as you round it off nicely.




    | Posted on 2006-11-27 00:00:00 | by -=Bass=- | [ Reply to This ]
      hey thats kool i like it keep writting
    | Posted on 2006-11-22 00:00:00 | by ty | [ Reply to This ]
      Very erotic. Fealt the passion, good work..
    You need to get published.


    Rich
    Rash Publishing
    http://www.rashpublishing.com
    | Posted on 2006-11-22 00:00:00 | by RashPub | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmm.....not bad.
    | Posted on 2006-11-21 00:00:00 | by Lil gal | [ Reply to This ]
      wow....deep.....scary.....
    | Posted on 2006-11-21 00:00:00 | by Thief | [ Reply to This ]


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