Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Stream of Consciencenessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mieko
    Elite Ratio:    3.98 - 253/209/99
    Words: 121
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1276
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 879



    Description:
       Mathmatically with a pistol I do trigonometry.-From Joshie.

    So this is another write. It was derrived in a cool way though, which if you want to try on your own please do.

    Take paper and time yerself. For 15 minutes, record your stream of thoughts exactly as you can. When those 15 minutes are up, take a pen and highlight 20 or so words. Then put them together in a poem like format, while adding pronouns and stuff.

    It's cool. Here's mine.



    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStream of Consciencenessdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I remember running.

    She would of practiced, if she'd known on time.
    Because even if she was hugged,
    It would still have been awkward.
    Acting cocky.
    Like she's better than you.
    An expensive hurt, a kind of
    broken writing hand.

    What's cooking?
    I'm smelling chocolate cookies.
    Little kids, kitchen smells-
    Remind me I'd rather be at home than driving in this snow.

    You've thrown off my groove,
    so I wanna see it.
    Scratched my heart, I realized
    standing: easier than running.

    I am here "as I should be,"
    I miss those two, but you know, with them?
    It's always something odd.

    Purposefully you mentioned tomorrow...
    and the fact that this could go on forever.




    Submitted on 2006-11-21 19:32:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Neat and nifty poem ... for some reason I kept thinking of "Run, Lola, Run" ... the German film ... but all to the good ... liked it a bunch ... (note: in the first line it should actually be "she should HAVE practiced"...) fine poem ... bravo ... bravo ... michael
    | Posted on 2007-01-31 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      AiEEEEEEEE!

    Do you know, I hardly ever read the description so the remarks are unsullied by prior understanding. I have never done the 15 minute thing - and might never! It's hard enough thinking of words when your thinking of them rather than finding them when your not thinking of them.

    Another AiEEEEEEE!

    I get it now but I kind of guess my original thoughts stand because the whole is disconnected. Thanks for writing Mieko.

    Donald
    | Posted on 2006-11-23 00:00:00 | by siradrian | [ Reply to This ]
      Sorry to say, I just don't get this piece. It seems to sound quite nice when spoken but the interior meaning is lost on me - perhaps I am too old.
    Was the writer spaced out when pen hit paper?
    " I miss those two, but you know, with them.." Big question mark?????????
    If the words are so obscure then maybe the poet is not writing for an audience - or for a different audience.
    Come in Boat Seven, your time is up!!! (Old Joke).

    Thanks anyway
    Donald
    | Posted on 2006-11-22 00:00:00 | by siradrian | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    126027

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Linger written by saartha
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Giving written by jjd
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Push written by JanePlane
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Incubus written by monad

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry