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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Stream of Consciencenessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mieko
    Elite Ratio:    3.98 - 253/209/99
    Words: 121
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1183
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 879



    Description:
       Mathmatically with a pistol I do trigonometry.-From Joshie.

    So this is another write. It was derrived in a cool way though, which if you want to try on your own please do.

    Take paper and time yerself. For 15 minutes, record your stream of thoughts exactly as you can. When those 15 minutes are up, take a pen and highlight 20 or so words. Then put them together in a poem like format, while adding pronouns and stuff.

    It's cool. Here's mine.



    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStream of Consciencenessdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I remember running.

    She would of practiced, if she'd known on time.
    Because even if she was hugged,
    It would still have been awkward.
    Acting cocky.
    Like she's better than you.
    An expensive hurt, a kind of
    broken writing hand.

    What's cooking?
    I'm smelling chocolate cookies.
    Little kids, kitchen smells-
    Remind me I'd rather be at home than driving in this snow.

    You've thrown off my groove,
    so I wanna see it.
    Scratched my heart, I realized
    standing: easier than running.

    I am here "as I should be,"
    I miss those two, but you know, with them?
    It's always something odd.

    Purposefully you mentioned tomorrow...
    and the fact that this could go on forever.




    Submitted on 2006-11-21 19:32:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Neat and nifty poem ... for some reason I kept thinking of "Run, Lola, Run" ... the German film ... but all to the good ... liked it a bunch ... (note: in the first line it should actually be "she should HAVE practiced"...) fine poem ... bravo ... bravo ... michael
    | Posted on 2007-01-31 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      AiEEEEEEEE!

    Do you know, I hardly ever read the description so the remarks are unsullied by prior understanding. I have never done the 15 minute thing - and might never! It's hard enough thinking of words when your thinking of them rather than finding them when your not thinking of them.

    Another AiEEEEEEE!

    I get it now but I kind of guess my original thoughts stand because the whole is disconnected. Thanks for writing Mieko.

    Donald
    | Posted on 2006-11-23 00:00:00 | by siradrian | [ Reply to This ]
      Sorry to say, I just don't get this piece. It seems to sound quite nice when spoken but the interior meaning is lost on me - perhaps I am too old.
    Was the writer spaced out when pen hit paper?
    " I miss those two, but you know, with them.." Big question mark?????????
    If the words are so obscure then maybe the poet is not writing for an audience - or for a different audience.
    Come in Boat Seven, your time is up!!! (Old Joke).

    Thanks anyway
    Donald
    | Posted on 2006-11-22 00:00:00 | by siradrian | [ Reply to This ]


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