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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: is this me?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: frenchie_inlove
    ASL Info:    13, f
    Elite Ratio:    2.43 - 6/12/8
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 73
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 772



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsis this me?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Is this me?
    looking back in the mirror
    cracked down the middle
    a suspect inside

    is this me?
    that person who follows
    every step i take
    the shadow thats always there

    is this me?
    the fist pounding inside
    stabbing at every beat
    hurting, forcing me to the ground

    is this me?
    that my friends call frenchie
    with long brown hair
    that flows with deep sorrow

    is this me?
    the loneliness that take over
    that strangles me to my death
    with 1 rose in my left hand

    is this me?
    the person typing
    whos sole so deep
    it stretches for miles

    is ...
    this ...
    me?




    Submitted on 2006-11-22 12:33:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The third stanza is very strong, I liked that a lot. The "is this me" is very cliché though, in my opinion I don't think you need the repeat, but it's what holds your poem together. I think you could make it a lot stronger by taking the "is this me" parts out in the middle section, and leaving it at the beginning or end. It was a nice read.

    <3
    Stephy
    | Posted on 2006-11-22 00:00:00 | by burningover_out | [ Reply to This ]
      not following it...

    Rich
    Rash Publishing
    http://www.rashpublishing.com
    | Posted on 2006-11-22 00:00:00 | by RashPub | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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