Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: In Case I Diedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Latin King
    ASL Info:    31/M/Los Angeles
    Elite Ratio:    2.39 - 104/232/145
    Words: 94
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 896
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 612



    Description:
       Depressed


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIn Case I Diedots
    -------------------------------------------


    In the event of my death,
    Nothing I did was ever positive,
    I took care of crying the tears,
    My father never shed,
    And the feeling was always massive;
    So kill me while I'm dreaming,
    Or just put my misery at ease,
    How ironic that I'm screaming,
    Yet the weight of the world in my shoulders,
    Always seems to increase.

    In case I die,
    I only got a couple of close friends,
    That will keep me in their memory,
    Well...
    Just hold on to those memories strong,
    So you could always,
    Remember me.




    Submitted on 2006-11-22 19:37:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is a nice, moving poem. Sad, but nice. It makes me feel proud for all that I've done, and to me that's what the message of the poem is. Am I close? I think the poem is great the way it is, though my only gripe is that it doesn't feel entirely original. It seems very emo, but at the same time not too emo? Just the right emo. =]

    Overall: Great poem, share it with your friends.
    | Posted on 2006-11-24 00:00:00 | by GetFighted | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    126165

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry