Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: pleasuring naturedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: chilz
    ASL Info:    20/F/WA
    Elite Ratio:    3.89 - 137/147/84
    Words: 87
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1588
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 570



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotspleasuring naturedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Laying nude in an endless silk sea
    Letting each wave wash over me

    Putting all the stars in my hair
    Nature caressing me with care

    Warm sensations' rhytmic tunes
    Power by the ever glowing moon

    Orange leaves fall onto my breast
    Flower go for their final rest

    Sun rays lick and kiss my skin
    Fire burns bright from within

    Heart beats go so fast
    A feeling we want to last

    Laying in a blanket of snow
    The pleasuring nature letting go




    Submitted on 2006-11-22 20:10:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      loved this! my only critique is i wish there was more of it.

    one suggestion...change "laying" to "lying"
    | Posted on 2006-12-16 00:00:00 | by aliciaflower04 | [ Reply to This ]
      i love this! im definitely adding it to one of my favs. i love the rhyming and i agree with Ramneet about describing the beauty of nature, but I LOVE how you put it together with the beauty of the naked body, which is and will always remain the true beauty, to me anyway, not trying to sound weird. very nice!

    -angel-
    | Posted on 2006-12-09 00:00:00 | by just an angel | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful poem describing the beauty of nature and the pleasures it can bring to our life.
    | Posted on 2006-11-24 00:00:00 | by Ramneet | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    126174

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry