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    dots Submission Name: Rise to the Hunt...dots

    Author: psyko
    Elite Ratio:    3.5 - 376/168/66
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 730
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 788

       the next step... a bridge until she can write something new...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRise to the Hunt...dots

    I wake your slumber at dusk today,
    A new eve for us to play.
    We'll hunt, we'll play, we'll burn together,
    As partners, we'll live forever.

    These beings, they think they have us pinned.
    These fools on which we prey.
    They'll never be able to take us out,
    But they can think so anyway.

    Whatever it takes to keep them weak,
    To keep them tender for our palate.
    I look to you, your approval I seek,
    Will you rise up to the challenge?

    My goddess, my love, my being of hate,
    Do you dare refuse this task...
    Hunt with me, I'm sure you'll love it,
    It's all from you I'll ask.

    (And I grin as you seem to agree)

    Submitted on 2006-11-23 04:42:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I think its really good as far as the setup and the way it flows. But I am completely oblivious as to wats really goin on lol. I think its some kind of love poem for vampires lol i dunno. maybe im jus retarded. but still it sounds good
    | Posted on 2007-05-11 00:00:00 | by skinnard | [ Reply to This ]
      Expression, syllables, rhyme, all put together with a very fascinating theme make for a good poem.

    These beings, they think they have us pinned.
    These fools on which we prey.
    They'll never be able to take us out,
    But they can think so anyway.

    Predator in prey, prey in predator. Lovely.
    | Posted on 2006-11-23 00:00:00 | by Azuire | [ Reply to This ]
      ooh, very nice. you make it sound so romantic in a dark, haunting kinda way. i love your style, just wish i could keep up....
    watch this space, i'll be back!! mwuah hahaha
    | Posted on 2006-11-23 00:00:00 | by whirl | [ Reply to This ]
      I like your ability to capture darkness and make things seem deliciously wicked. The poem runs smoothly in an effortless sort of way, as if the words always belonged together, and you assembled them perfectly (this is me jealous :) . Overall, I loved it, stanzas 1 and 3 are my favorite. Cant wait to read more...

    Until we write again,

    | Posted on 2006-12-04 00:00:00 | by inkonspikuous | [ Reply to This ]
      this is quite an interesting write here now so tis :)... you incorporate rhyme quite well into your poems without making it sound too ... eh whats the word 'nursery like'? interesting
    | Posted on 2006-11-23 00:00:00 | by freak_like_me | [ Reply to This ]
      Atalanta. The goddess of hunt. This reminded me of her a little. The first stanza was perfect and some of the expressions later on I also find appealing. The form and the flow run as smooth as wine. I'll tell you one thing, this is the best one I've seen from you.
    | Posted on 2006-11-23 00:00:00 | by Porcelaine | [ Reply to This ]

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