Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Rise to the Hunt...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: psyko
    Elite Ratio:    3.5 - 376/168/66
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 720
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 788



    Description:
       the next step... a bridge until she can write something new...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRise to the Hunt...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I wake your slumber at dusk today,
    A new eve for us to play.
    We'll hunt, we'll play, we'll burn together,
    As partners, we'll live forever.

    These beings, they think they have us pinned.
    These fools on which we prey.
    They'll never be able to take us out,
    But they can think so anyway.

    Whatever it takes to keep them weak,
    To keep them tender for our palate.
    I look to you, your approval I seek,
    Will you rise up to the challenge?

    My goddess, my love, my being of hate,
    Do you dare refuse this task...
    Hunt with me, I'm sure you'll love it,
    It's all from you I'll ask.

    (And I grin as you seem to agree)




    Submitted on 2006-11-23 04:42:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I think its really good as far as the setup and the way it flows. But I am completely oblivious as to wats really goin on lol. I think its some kind of love poem for vampires lol i dunno. maybe im jus retarded. but still it sounds good
    | Posted on 2007-05-11 00:00:00 | by skinnard | [ Reply to This ]
      Expression, syllables, rhyme, all put together with a very fascinating theme make for a good poem.

    These beings, they think they have us pinned.
    These fools on which we prey.
    They'll never be able to take us out,
    But they can think so anyway.

    Predator in prey, prey in predator. Lovely.
    Cheers
    Azuire
    | Posted on 2006-11-23 00:00:00 | by Azuire | [ Reply to This ]
      ooh, very nice. you make it sound so romantic in a dark, haunting kinda way. i love your style, just wish i could keep up....
    watch this space, i'll be back!! mwuah hahaha
    | Posted on 2006-11-23 00:00:00 | by whirl | [ Reply to This ]
      I like your ability to capture darkness and make things seem deliciously wicked. The poem runs smoothly in an effortless sort of way, as if the words always belonged together, and you assembled them perfectly (this is me jealous :) . Overall, I loved it, stanzas 1 and 3 are my favorite. Cant wait to read more...



    Until we write again,

    ~ink~
    | Posted on 2006-12-04 00:00:00 | by inkonspikuous | [ Reply to This ]
      this is quite an interesting write here now so tis :)... you incorporate rhyme quite well into your poems without making it sound too ... eh whats the word 'nursery like'? interesting
    | Posted on 2006-11-23 00:00:00 | by freak_like_me | [ Reply to This ]
      Atalanta. The goddess of hunt. This reminded me of her a little. The first stanza was perfect and some of the expressions later on I also find appealing. The form and the flow run as smooth as wine. I'll tell you one thing, this is the best one I've seen from you.
    | Posted on 2006-11-23 00:00:00 | by Porcelaine | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    126243

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The World written by jjd
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry