Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lovely Remnantsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: prettybaby
    Elite Ratio:    6.59 - 191/194/59
    Words: 154
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1121
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 935



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLovely Remnantsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    To the world you are nothing
    but a memory in my mind
    I ache no more, for you have vanished
    forgotten in the course of time

    My body does not cry for you,
    My heart does not search yours
    I wish for nothing of your soul,
    there is naught worth yearning for

    New eyes now look upon me
    begging for the love you stole
    and with my never-failing strength
    my heart can now be given whole

    Oh, how I wish this lie were true,
    this story told by fear,
    If only time could heal wounds
    and peace could hold me near

    But this is only false pretense,
    Though I love you no longer,
    Though a year has come to pass
    And time has made me stronger

    I still can't close my heart to you
    Or open it to him
    And with your lovely remnants
    How can I e'er begin?




    Submitted on 2006-11-23 13:03:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I enjoyed this a lot. It was only on the third read that I noticed that it rhymed. You used a lot of half-rhymes so I didn't quite catch it at first. Rhyming usually annoys me, but I really liked this one. It's a really strong, heartfelt piece. I could really feel you here, and that's what makes a piece good. Keep writing Cari. I expect good things from you.

    Grow strong.

    Vanessa
    | Posted on 2006-12-23 00:00:00 | by Zabriel | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey, this IS a fine poem! You understand rhyme and meter and have put it to fine use here ... slightly wistful, with the just the right note of sadness ... simply excellent! I loved it! bravo ... bravo ... bravo!!! Michael
    | Posted on 2006-12-07 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      A beautiful enjoyable read. I can certainly relate to your feelings here. It can be hard getting over someone you have loved dearly, and even when you do, it is never completely. I like to think there is a special place in my heart for everyone I've loved. Keep up the great work!
    Soul-Hugger
    | Posted on 2006-11-24 00:00:00 | by Soul-Hugger | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    126268

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry