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Roleplay | Viral news today | Music Theory

Lovely Remnants

Author:	prettybaby
Elite Ratio:	6.59 - 191 /194 /59
Words:	154

Class/Type:	Poetry /Longing
Total Views:	1239
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	935

Description:

Lovely Remnants

To the world you are nothing
but a memory in my mind
I ache no more, for you have vanished
forgotten in the course of time

My body does not cry for you,
My heart does not search yours
I wish for nothing of your soul,
there is naught worth yearning for

New eyes now look upon me
begging for the love you stole
and with my never-failing strength
my heart can now be given whole

Oh, how I wish this lie were true,
this story told by fear,
If only time could heal wounds
and peace could hold me near

But this is only false pretense,
Though I love you no longer,
Though a year has come to pass
And time has made me stronger

I still can't close my heart to you
Or open it to him
And with your lovely remnants
How can I e'er begin?

Submitted on 2006-11-23 13:03:27 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments

I enjoyed this a lot. It was only on the third read that I noticed that it rhymed. You used a lot of half-rhymes so I didn't quite catch it at first. Rhyming usually annoys me, but I really liked this one. It's a really strong, heartfelt piece. I could really feel you here, and that's what makes a piece good. Keep writing Cari. I expect good things from you.

Grow strong.

Vanessa

| Posted on 2006-12-23 00:00:00 | by Zabriel | [ Reply to This ]

Hey, this IS a fine poem! You understand rhyme and meter and have put it to fine use here ... slightly wistful, with the just the right note of sadness ... simply excellent! I loved it! bravo ... bravo ... bravo!!! Michael

| Posted on 2006-12-07 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]

A beautiful enjoyable read. I can certainly relate to your feelings here. It can be hard getting over someone you have loved dearly, and even when you do, it is never completely. I like to think there is a special place in my heart for everyone I've loved. Keep up the great work!
Soul-Hugger

| Posted on 2006-11-24 00:00:00 | by Soul-Hugger | [ Reply to This ]

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Lovely Remnants

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Lovely Remnants

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