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    dots Submission Name: Lovely Remnantsdots

    Author: prettybaby
    Elite Ratio:    6.59 - 191/194/59
    Words: 154
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1121
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 935


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    dotsLovely Remnantsdots

    To the world you are nothing
    but a memory in my mind
    I ache no more, for you have vanished
    forgotten in the course of time

    My body does not cry for you,
    My heart does not search yours
    I wish for nothing of your soul,
    there is naught worth yearning for

    New eyes now look upon me
    begging for the love you stole
    and with my never-failing strength
    my heart can now be given whole

    Oh, how I wish this lie were true,
    this story told by fear,
    If only time could heal wounds
    and peace could hold me near

    But this is only false pretense,
    Though I love you no longer,
    Though a year has come to pass
    And time has made me stronger

    I still can't close my heart to you
    Or open it to him
    And with your lovely remnants
    How can I e'er begin?

    Submitted on 2006-11-23 13:03:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I enjoyed this a lot. It was only on the third read that I noticed that it rhymed. You used a lot of half-rhymes so I didn't quite catch it at first. Rhyming usually annoys me, but I really liked this one. It's a really strong, heartfelt piece. I could really feel you here, and that's what makes a piece good. Keep writing Cari. I expect good things from you.

    Grow strong.

    | Posted on 2006-12-23 00:00:00 | by Zabriel | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey, this IS a fine poem! You understand rhyme and meter and have put it to fine use here ... slightly wistful, with the just the right note of sadness ... simply excellent! I loved it! bravo ... bravo ... bravo!!! Michael
    | Posted on 2006-12-07 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      A beautiful enjoyable read. I can certainly relate to your feelings here. It can be hard getting over someone you have loved dearly, and even when you do, it is never completely. I like to think there is a special place in my heart for everyone I've loved. Keep up the great work!
    | Posted on 2006-11-24 00:00:00 | by Soul-Hugger | [ Reply to This ]

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