Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Breaking Silence

Author: Kasper187
ASL Info:    24 m Texas
Elite Ratio:    2.03 - 71 /64 /43
Words: 142
Class/Type: Poetry /
Total Views: 847
Average Vote:    4.0000
Bytes: 774


Breaking Silence

Are you afraid of breaking me?
Can you hear my heart crying?
Can you see what I see?
A hole inside of you afraid of dying

Feel the silence of the end
The dark sounds of a cracking heart
Can you see where the pain begins
And where the dark fears come apart?

Lose myself in loving you
Feel so much rain wash over me
Watch it slip away now we are through
Lost in fear I thought you would see

Haunting dreams of a breaking me
Letting go of the chains that make me bleed
Holding inside what I have come to be
Letting go of the fears I no longer need...

© ©2006 Anthony Paul Garcia/

Submitted on 2006-11-23 17:23:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  another brooding, poignant piece nicely done...(suggestion: in my very humble opinion if the this poem were to have the same number of syllables in each line--say 7 or 8--it would give the poem an added thrust and "readibility") but still overall quite fine, indeed....bravo...
| Posted on 2006-11-30 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a deep poem. I couldn't have done it better.
Keep it up hun,
| Posted on 2006-11-27 00:00:00 | by Darklonelygirl | [ Reply to This ]
  wow...deep. I can't really say much more
| Posted on 2006-11-25 00:00:00 | by Desolate_beauty | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?