Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Tin Bird


Author: Morilla
ASL Info:    16/F/Somewhere
Elite Ratio:    4.3 - 10 /8 /9
Words: 74
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 609
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 527



Description:


Another really random poem I wrote before going to bed. I was just scribbling some drawings and drew a sort of bird with a cylinder for a body and a long trailing tail. And hence the poem! Though I don't like the ending.
Written 14th May 05


Tin Bird



Tin Bird flying through the sky
Your ribbon tails trailing
Falling in a waterfall
A waterfall of colour
Washing over me.
I watch your arc
High above my head
Shining in the sunlight.
A metal can with ribbons and strings
Made for fun.
No use.
To be thrown away.
Wings of straw
Stiff and Brittle
Strands falling down.
Silhouette of a bird.
Not a real one.
A Tin Bird.
Can.
A Tin Bird.
Bird.




Submitted on 2006-11-24 15:02:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  This is interesting. I dont really understand if it was just a write or if it has a meaning. I like it though in some odd way...Its kinda cool...but I just don't get it.

| Posted on 2006-11-26 00:00:00 | by Desolate_beauty | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



126401