Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

My hunt is all for you...

Author: psyko
Elite Ratio:    3.5 - 376 /168 /66
Words: 389
Class/Type: Poetry /Dark
Total Views: 1094
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 2439


It's not the best i know, but it seems to work alright...

My hunt is all for you...

This death you may not witness,
So turn your head away.
I must do this on my own,
But all will be ok.

Let my soul reach it's evil height,
Allow this to proceed.
You say you hunger for my rage,
Let me fill your need.

Shortly, I will return,
With Death for us to feast.
Let my hatred take hold of me,
Now that my pain's released.

In the cold, dark night I roam,
With my senses over turned.
I think back to that deadly kiss,
And how my soul was burned.

In the shadow, I wait to see,
Our dinner will soon pass.
I'll tear his life away from him,
And crucify his mass.

Hidden well behind the dark,
My nerves begin to shake.
She walks before me all alone,
I see fear in her face.

Her steps are light, her fear runs high,
For I have made an eerie sound.
This hunt made easy, thrown in my lap,
For no one is around.

But for both of us, she's not enough,
To feed our appetite.
So once I take her life from her,
I'll remain here through the night.

Oh goddess of sin, I wish you close,
For you to feed your hungry soul.
But i asked you to stay behind,
How could you ever know?

This night grow faint, a strange light above,
The sky is changing fast,
But What is this i see before me?
I must have his fat ass.

He'll feed us both with lots to spare,
He'll never see it coming.
I'll strike him swift, and pull in back,
But who else is that above him?

He's not alone, but I can't be seen,
Must I take them both with me?
Tell me goddess, what should I do?
My evil is taking hold of me...

Now I must return to you,
Before this light does rise.
I can't wait to see you smile,
To see the sparkle in your eyes.

Have I done well to bring these bodies,
This feast that we can have.
Together laughing, and sharing triumph,
Remembering our dark past.

Take your fill, and come to me.
I'll bless your wariness.
Our passion will overflow,
When we share that frozen kiss....

Submitted on 2006-11-24 15:06:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  Shortly, I will return,
With Death for us to feast.
Let my hatred take hold of me,
Now that my pain's released.

This section was my favorite. The way your words flow constructing lines up on lines of darkness is amazing. I find myself thinking about who these people are. I love how you talk about them without revealing too much of who they actually are. It is very sultry a little combo of dark and sexy. Nothing sexier than a man trying to find food for his woman.

| Posted on 2006-12-04 00:00:00 | by kissingadict | [ Reply to This ]
  I like the way you write these poems of darknes. still this one feels a little rushed, something is missig though I don't know what.
It gives me this wierd feeling, I want to be a vampie when I read it. Thats a good rewiew
In the middle of the poem it feels kind of "meaningless" there is nothing that really grabs me.
still the beginning and the end are quite lovely.
//The Little Good Wolf
| Posted on 2006-11-28 00:00:00 | by Wolfie | [ Reply to This ]
  this does work alright...this is easily the best out of them all so far, it's getting better and better. can you wait a day for mine...i can't write them as fast as you.
i love this one!!
Goddess of Sin
| Posted on 2006-11-24 00:00:00 | by whirl | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?