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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Ennui Among the Seraphimdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 106
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1824
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 701



    Description:
       This could be titled Boredom Among the Highest Order of Angels. I swear I wasn't under the influence of anything when I wrote this.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEnnui Among the Seraphimdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Strange, sticky, fragrant juice
    spills onto me from a cloudless, sunny sky.
    Suddenly my dull mind overflows with ideas
    like water through a recently unclogged drain.
    Heaven is having its way with me.
    My mind tingles with thoughts sent from bored angels
    amusing themselves with the mind of a poet.
    I'm showered in their oversweet wine.
    One flies past me and giggles;
    then I hear a voice, find myself in a twisted hammock,
    and ponder whether it was a dream.
    Then I see the regal purple stains
    on my yellow t-shirt,
    I fix the hammock and return to sleep
    for poets thrive on divine inspiration.




    Submitted on 2004-05-30 04:16:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      I like the metaphor that you set up with your fist line…
    ''Strange, sticky, fragrant juice''

    the idea of inspiration being like sweet wine is nicely followed through….and the use of lots of 'liquid' words enhances this (spills, overflows, showered)

    I also like the thought that the angels are bored so are playing with your mind,

    ''My mind tingles with thoughts sent from bored angels''

    and the last line closes the poem well, and sums up the theme very nicely

    ''For poets thrive on divine inspiration''

    | Posted on 2005-11-19 00:00:00 | by ertha | [ Reply to This ]
      Divine inspiration, and then you fall to sleep, I like it.
    The image of angels pouring sweet liquid, the purple stain, like royalty I can only guess. At least heaven intervenes and then puts you at peace. I like the interplay of getting caught up in the hammock. For me there's nothing better than getting caught in the throes of inspiration. You've passed that feeling on quite well. always a pleasure, nansofast
    | Posted on 2004-11-16 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      Well I've certainly come across the heart of this web site. Your portfolio is a thing to behold and I feel like a child scratching on the bedroom wall. I'll read some more when I have a couple of days. Hope to talk again.
    | Posted on 2004-09-18 00:00:00 | by dmm | [ Reply to This ]
      if heaven drops a bombshell... i wouldn't be the first one to touch it though... hehe. anyway, i was waiting for a friend and decided to have a look around and stumbled upon this little thing. i'm glad this poem is such an advocate of the ink's "magical" (can't find the right word) strokes. thank god for bored high rank angels swooping down for a little fun with us mere mortals...

    this poem was great.

    kudos.
    | Posted on 2004-12-03 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]
      So Webster doesn't cut off my balls, heres a few critiques.
    Normally I wouldn't say anything, but the 'i's are excessive for what your trying to get across...an image, the reader usually assumes your writing involves you somehow....using "i" isn't all bad when your making statements about yourself...but obviously God isn't putting up your hammock..he's busy getting you a towel
    | Posted on 2004-06-05 00:00:00 | by MyX | [ Reply to This ]
      A poem about getting a facial from God himself and you think I'm sick. You are def. one of the biggest inspirations on this site for the reason that you can do it all...you have the imagination fresher than any child's and a wisdom with words just as prolific as most song writers and contemporary poets. You're one of the best out there that I've ever seen.
    -MyX
    | Posted on 2004-06-05 00:00:00 | by MyX | [ Reply to This ]
      Hah... this was very non-eventful... but still managed to capture my attention the entire way through. I love how this is so simple... yet it actually seems really good! Were you drinking grape juice?? That always stains!
    | Posted on 2004-06-01 00:00:00 | by Cai | [ Reply to This ]
      this is insanely awesome! i love it! bored angels messing with your head... thats the greatest image ever! and i love how you see the stain on your top and just go back to dreaming... very awesome images in here. this is awesome as (and im afraid this is prolly an officially 'bad comment')
    | Posted on 2004-06-01 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      I feel some irony inside, read with a big smile. Love the line:

    'I fix the hammock and return to sleep
    For poets thrive on divine inspiration'

    If it's up to be ironic somehow, then I got the point - excellent idea and style: beyond reproach!
    | Posted on 2004-06-01 00:00:00 | by Nightraven | [ Reply to This ]
      "Ennui Among the Seraphim" has such a poetic, even angelic sense to it. But, I can't shake the urge to think of it as your boredom rather than the angels'. I know that sounds silly. "Like water through a recently unclogged drain" strikes me as the weakest line. I can think of so many ways that would seem to illustrate a greater ease of flow. Of course, it could be that you want to express that you felt somehow clogged before this dreary epiphany, but I just picture a dirty drain saturated with Drano.
    Ah, screw it, it's a darn good poem. It gets better each time I read it. Now I'm just another one of your little lemmings.
    | Posted on 2004-07-13 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]
      your title is amazing. you write about being inspired by some muses, only that your muses are angles. can't pick a favourite line cause the whole of it is really great. your angles must have amused themselves with your mind for a quite long time.
    | Posted on 2004-05-30 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow!
    See, this is what makes a writer; being able to think of this without any help from your (divine) friends.

    I loved this as soon as I got to "Suddenly my dull mind overflows with ideas"

    And the purple juice on the t-shirt, and the rolling over in the hammock to go to sleep, and the fluttering, cheeky bored angels whispering ...
    Oh, so pretty :)
    | Posted on 2004-05-30 00:00:00 | by Learah | [ Reply to This ]
      you do good stuff and you're always so fresh and original. i don't get bored reading what you've written as it is somewhat 'actionpacked' if you will. i believe that for me the best part of this senario was your yellow tee--in all of this beautiful and celestial painting, your yellow t-shirt pulled me down to earth and made this all so very realistic. great job manipulating our imaginations!
    | Posted on 2004-05-30 00:00:00 | by pyrestarter | [ Reply to This ]
      oh, yeah, and nice legs! (sorry, couldn't resist!!!) oh well you just know the short comment thingies gotta come up now.....blah ....
    | Posted on 2004-05-30 00:00:00 | by pyrestarter | [ Reply to This ]
      lol sometimes I feel like my inspiration makes up for something... Sometimes I feel like I have more than one muse, and they argue too much! I liked the end, but the beginning bored me... lol... just like those angels.... but I think, even if you're talking about bored angels, your poetry shouldn't be boring.
    | Posted on 2004-05-30 00:00:00 | by Cora Windover | [ Reply to This ]
      below, i meant to say it just came to me while looking at the moon, not the poem! my brain is still asleep. i didn't get to bed until after 4:30 a.m. my mind was racing with all kinds of images and stuff! i bet that happens to you, too!
    | Posted on 2004-05-30 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      Ok, I'm just too thick. I read everyone's comments hoping someone would spill, but no one seems to see anything earthly in this but me I guess. The giggle of the one "flying" past. Then the real voice that wakes you, and the real stains on the shirt. I'd say you have some children as seraphim here, am I wrong?
    | Posted on 2004-05-31 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      Very Nice, Amy...LOL I can see why you advise us in the description that you wrote this unaided by any mind altering substance, as it is almost "trippy"
    I love the image-collage of impish angels and sleepy dreaming poetess suddenly waking full of inspiration--then going greedily back for more. This is delightful. Silver
    | Posted on 2004-05-31 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      this is great! i absolutely adore angels. this made me want to curl up in a hammock and hope for sweet angel dreams and inspiration! i do agree with the divine inspiration part, too. like my new poem, "nocturnal festivities," it just came to me in a moment of looking at the poem! this was delicious, dumplin!
    | Posted on 2004-05-30 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]


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