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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Follow me.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: kellz
    ASL Info:    25/F/England
    Elite Ratio:    2.95 - 123/152/52
    Words: 118
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 945
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 673



    Description:
       just something i wrote when i was with one of my exboyfriends he loved it and he added the last 2
    lines





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    dotsFollow me.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Oh how i long to touch my lips
    on yours and just to think
    yesterday
    we would have been surprised if
    even a thought crossed our
    minds but today
    we lay here in sweet delight as
    hours of passion pass us by.
    But one question still remains do
    you love me enough to
    follow me and listen to
    stories being told.
    Will you come with me and see
    that love changes but never
    grows old.
    And then if you drop me the same
    question i will speak
    and i will say,
    "I will follow you to the end
    of the earth and that i promise you, my love."




    Submitted on 2004-05-30 04:44:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Kind of a stretch going from yesterday not even having the thought of kissing cross your minds to loving each other eternally, but either way there was some very nice places in this piece, especially in the beginning...there just seems as though you skipped over a transition somewhere from friends to forever...?
    | Posted on 2004-06-03 00:00:00 | by Emerging Soul | [ Reply to This ]
      somethin of true love that even I would quiver at the thought of it. its really nice to read this once in a while though I try not to. hmmmmmmmm this would be nice if your edited it a bit and use it as your voul (spelling, I can never get it right lol. voul as in marriage vouls. spelling errors again...) your explanations of a simple act of loving and staying together forever is really good, jsut some misplaced words here and there. I like it.
    | Posted on 2004-05-30 00:00:00 | by BloodChildVagueSoul | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really a beautiful poem. I'm not surpirised he loved it, I only wish my love would write my something, sigh...Anyway, this has a really good flow to it and the message is very touching. Great write!
    | Posted on 2004-05-30 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]
      'love changes but never
    grows old' is so beautiful, words everybody would do well to remember. dropme should be corrected but other than that this is very good and your flow is great...very lovey dovey *sniff*
    | Posted on 2004-05-30 00:00:00 | by pyrestarter | [ Reply to This ]
      thanks for your comment on follow me i am glad you like it although it did not take me long that one line "that love changes but never
    grows old."
    took me ages to think of
    | Posted on 2004-05-30 00:00:00 | by kellz | [ Reply to This ]


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