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Fire


Author: manda_bear
ASL Info:    24;f; alabama
Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 57 /64 /23
Words: 124
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1075
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 698



Description:




Fire



The fire burns deep inside
It won't go away
The burning the life that it was given
It will never end it will never stop
It's an endless burning flame for you
This fire isn't what i thought it would be
The fire has passion behind it
It has taken on my heart and soul
I can't stop the burn of desire for you inside
I will let the fire burn inside forever
I know that there is nothing I can do to stop it
Your kisses and touches are all so sweet
They drive the fire to burn hotter and hotter
Nothing has ever taken a hold of me like this
The fire still burns deep inside




Submitted on 2006-11-24 19:21:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I liked it, the only thing that I can say is there is alot of "I" & "It's"
It can become repetitive.

Thanks,

Spin

| Posted on 2009-07-17 00:00:00 | by Spin | [ Reply to This ]
  I don't agree with corruptedspirit, good poetry leaves mystery, and makes you wonder and form your own opinions, views...etc. It's a very nice write, and the person is lucky that you love them this much, and hopefully they realise that, or will realise that soon.
| Posted on 2007-02-03 00:00:00 | by Draigon | [ Reply to This ]
  I see what you were trying to get across but it's a bit stale, and you leave to much unanswered....
Who does it burn for?
Why does it burn?
Where are they now?
What made 'the fire' start?

You have a nice starting piece but you need to elaborate on a few things, and try not to use the word fire so much try using alteritives like flames, heat, etc... I felt it repeated a bit to much in such a short piece....

Danny
| Posted on 2006-11-24 00:00:00 | by corruptedspirit | [ Reply to This ]


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