Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Identity Washes Down the Draindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Poetic_tragedy6
    ASL Info:    25/F/OR
    Elite Ratio:    2.65 - 114/155/74
    Words: 108
    Class/Type: Poetry/Mirror or Mask
    Total Views: 477
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 709



    Description:
       Not very good... Just a poem I came up with in a minute.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIdentity Washes Down the Draindots
    -------------------------------------------


    I wash my face
    My identity runs down the drain
    My heart starts to race

    My face is bare
    Revealing the real me
    The part I don't want people to see

    No make up to hide
    My imperfections
    The truth that can't be denied

    Hideous, replusive
    Don't look at me
    I have nothing left to give

    No painted on smile
    Or smooth skin
    I am proof, God makes sin

    My identity goes down the drain
    With it my self-worth
    No rewards for all this work

    So I wash my face
    Revealing the real me
    The things that people will never see.




    Submitted on 2006-11-24 21:01:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      No painted on smile
    Or smooth skin
    I am proof, God makes sin

    How blasphemous, the controversy I love this. I've realized something we are most times hardest on ourselves, we decrease our own selfworth and then that is how how we are perveived. I've been here before matter of fact i still am, just making peace with it i guess, finding the beauty in my own skin.

    Eternally yours,
    Jay.
    | Posted on 2006-11-30 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]
      This is very self deprecating in the narrative voice. It is putting a cross a feeling of total lack of self worth. But why? What is the message? Is it that the make-up is a metaphor for secrecy? But if so there is no hint at the secret or why it may be bad to hide it.
    | Posted on 2006-11-25 00:00:00 | by nascentpawn | [ Reply to This ]
      Very well written. You've done a great job of expressing how alot of women tend to feel. I think its awful that women, young women are led to believe that leaving the house without a mask is unexceptable. Because eventually the make up we wear hides more than imperfections in the skin and enhances nothing but our insecurities... Very well done.

    ~Kiki
    | Posted on 2006-11-24 00:00:00 | by precious_poetry | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow!! I really like this one. It is so good. I like the mental pic you get as you read it. Keep writing. Good one
    | Posted on 2006-11-24 00:00:00 | by bleeding_sin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    126453

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne
    AI written by poetotoe
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Push written by JanePlane
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Fasade written by jackz
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    prison written by ShyOne
    Every..... written by jackz
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Shi written by ShyOne
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    written by Daniel Barlow
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry