[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: When I Was A Kiddots

    Author: Latin King
    ASL Info:    31/M/Los Angeles
    Elite Ratio:    2.39 - 104/232/145
    Words: 129
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 701
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 808


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhen I Was A Kiddots

    Every day on the way to my elementary,
    I used to see people slang drugs,
    Thiefs, gang members and street thugs,
    And I thought it was always meant to be.

    Witness my Dad beat on my Momz,
    And when he was done with her,
    The feeling in the air of being scared,
    Made it seem life wasn't fair.

    After my father passed away,
    My Mother felt hopeless and stray,
    Left abondoned in her own way,
    As a result of that,
    She turned bitter and cold after that day.

    When I was a kid,
    I used to cherish the tomorrow today,
    Too much violence so we couldn't play,
    I just close my eyes and pray,
    Just so that my childhood,
    Stays far from a replay.

    Submitted on 2006-11-24 21:10:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this a good poem, i liked the second stanza, i went through that myself so i know how you feel, there are someparts of my chuldhood that i would rather forget. nice work.
    | Posted on 2006-11-26 00:00:00 | by bogeyman | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Bond written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Wavelength written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]