[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: My Last Wishdots

    Author: precious_poetry
    ASL Info:    19 F TN
    Elite Ratio:    3.17 - 137/145/67
    Words: 82
    Class/Type: Poetry/I hate you
    Total Views: 719
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 624

       I see that the last stanza may mess up the flow, but I like it the way it is... Didn't really want to change it. Anyways, this is for the heart-breaker.. the murderer of love and the one that kills the will to ever love again... Let me know what you think.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Last Wishdots

    Words left unspoken,
    Kisses long lost.
    Hearts forever broken.
    Emotions so tossed.

    Tears fall like rain,
    Thoughts stay jumbled.
    Numb from the pain,
    A love that crumbled.

    Nightmares of you,
    Memories only opress.
    Three words, untrue.
    Life means a little less.

    Breathing in mud,
    Suffocating, dying.
    Murder, in cold blood.
    Without even trying.

    I'll add you to my list.
    Of the small and hated few.
    You killed my chance at bliss.
    I wish for death to devour you.

    Submitted on 2006-11-25 16:44:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      no... actually, just the last line messes things up, maybe you can say the exact same thing with different wording to keep it straight...

    just a thought
    | Posted on 2006-11-25 00:00:00 | by psyko | [ Reply to This ]
      humm thought provoking, i like it i feel the same way, about ... well never mind , i hate him for what he did to me. and i hope he feels tha some pain i do one day. so not much elts i can say because if i could make it better i would be better by now,
    Bloody mary~~~>
    | Posted on 2006-11-25 00:00:00 | by BloodyMary87 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a very awesome write. I like the flow, the end didn't mess it up at all, the rhyming was consistant and powerful, but very common, the lines were short but still held much emotion and got the point across. I love the topic of it to, right now I'm going through this and hurting alot, but I can't seem to write anything less than happy. This was a really nice poem. Keep up the great work.

    Carry On Luggage
    | Posted on 2006-11-25 00:00:00 | by hellsangel | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Bond written by saartha
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Chelebel
    The Promise written by annie0888
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    To written by SavedDragon
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]