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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Last Wishdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: precious_poetry
    ASL Info:    19 F TN
    Elite Ratio:    3.17 - 137/145/67
    Words: 82
    Class/Type: Poetry/I hate you
    Total Views: 691
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 624



    Description:
       I see that the last stanza may mess up the flow, but I like it the way it is... Didn't really want to change it. Anyways, this is for the heart-breaker.. the murderer of love and the one that kills the will to ever love again... Let me know what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Last Wishdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Words left unspoken,
    Kisses long lost.
    Hearts forever broken.
    Emotions so tossed.

    Tears fall like rain,
    Thoughts stay jumbled.
    Numb from the pain,
    A love that crumbled.

    Nightmares of you,
    Memories only opress.
    Three words, untrue.
    Life means a little less.

    Breathing in mud,
    Suffocating, dying.
    Murder, in cold blood.
    Without even trying.

    I'll add you to my list.
    Of the small and hated few.
    You killed my chance at bliss.
    I wish for death to devour you.




    Submitted on 2006-11-25 16:44:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      no... actually, just the last line messes things up, maybe you can say the exact same thing with different wording to keep it straight...

    just a thought
    | Posted on 2006-11-25 00:00:00 | by psyko | [ Reply to This ]
      humm thought provoking, i like it i feel the same way, about ... well never mind , i hate him for what he did to me. and i hope he feels tha some pain i do one day. so not much elts i can say because if i could make it better i would be better by now,
    Bloody mary~~~>
    | Posted on 2006-11-25 00:00:00 | by BloodyMary87 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a very awesome write. I like the flow, the end didn't mess it up at all, the rhyming was consistant and powerful, but very common, the lines were short but still held much emotion and got the point across. I love the topic of it to, right now I'm going through this and hurting alot, but I can't seem to write anything less than happy. This was a really nice poem. Keep up the great work.

    Carry On Luggage
    | Posted on 2006-11-25 00:00:00 | by hellsangel | [ Reply to This ]


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