I like what you've done with the rhyme scheme here, where you've changed from the first stanza to the second, then gone back to the first, then completely abandoned it at the end. I think this makes the message that much more powerful. I like the first two stanzas best, well the first half of the second one, but I think that is just because I am more traditional and I like rhyme, but that is just me. Overall, good write.