[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: A Black Poemdots

    Author: Daokao
    Elite Ratio:    6.4 - 67/37/10
    Words: 165
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1183
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1203

       Depressions, anxiety, stress…all self-inducing black emotions that are part of human pain. Millions of people live their lives in this unproductive state of mind. It takes a conscious effort to fight off these negative emotions by understanding that those things you cannot control need to be let go. Unfortunately, as humans we sometimes must hit the very bottom in order to see the senselessness of it all. This piece is about that struggle which we all face.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Black Poemdots

    Beware poets of the written word
    Dark thoughts hide within you unnoticed
    Ready to slither from your sub consciousness
    Ejaculating black psychosomatic woe

    Emotions gone astray in its powerful grasp
    Leeching over enlightened thoughts one-by-one
    Leaving your suffused unfettered mind
    A self-induced prisoner in a cranium asylum

    Seductress of draconian images
    Incarcerating good and productive thoughts
    Then creeping onto the written page
    Settling into the black ink of visual rage

    Black letters forming black words
    Free-falling written dominos colliding
    Openly read to plant seeds of discontent
    Pornographic descriptions of misguided events

    Perhaps this is a warning shot to be on guard
    These human feelings erupt unpredicted
    Triggered by the black gun of life’s despair
    Shooting you down like a black long-eared hare

    Lift-up your spirit all is not lost
    Fight-off these obsessions of darkness
    Turn your creative mind into a kaleidoscope
    And leave your reader with feelings of hope

    Submitted on 2006-11-26 21:13:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this poem is really really good. Dayam. i love all the pictures you put into my mind with your amazing use of words.
    | Posted on 2007-03-23 00:00:00 | by Impy | [ Reply to This ]
      You have really put some sunshine into my day.I see there are some poets who like me are dreadfully depressed by television and the daily news only telling of the most gross evilities. There is seldom something about the good someone has done. This has to have an ill effect upon youngsters who think that the only way to be recognized is to do something bad.
    | Posted on 2007-03-19 00:00:00 | by realpoet | [ Reply to This ]
      This is ME too! I can seriously relate to what you say in this work, and you do it well. My onnly nit is the repetition of 'black.' You might find other ways to say that (midnight,ebony,etc.). Other than that minor thing, well done. A fave!
    | Posted on 2007-03-19 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi Dennis, I like that the poem ends on a note of hope.

    "Life is basically one continual kick in the nuts after another." -- Dennis Miller

    Yeah, i'm a little harangued by the whole issue of what makes a poet these days. I've gone through many phases of changing my mind on the matter.

    The truth is that there is more poetry being printed and posted online, by more different people than ever before. Most of them have no talent. At first i was terribly discouraged by this. I love poetry. Discovering the first generation British Romantics is what compelled me to go to college and not join the military instead. Point is my head is full of really good poems by really good poets. All this fluff is a bit annoying to me.

    But time has a way of sifting through the fodder. And it doesn't take much for me to finger a good poet when i see them. One reading of any single poem should show you whether this is a poet worth reading more of. Even if the first poem you read by them doesn't blow your hair back...you will at least know if they have "IT" ..... or not.

    But this brings me around to the whole point of your poem. Yes, psychosomatic self-made misery is not something that most people would want to read much of. But why then are they writing it? I've come to view poetry in a much different light now that everyone is a poet. I think in much the same way that talk therapy, talking about our problems helps to make them seem more bearable, art too can be very therapeutic.

    If it helps for people to write about their personal tragedies, then i'm all for it. I think that for most of these poets....their poems are much the same thing as what everyone else bit.ches about on coffee break.

    "At least since Emerson and Whitman, there's a cult of experience in American poetry. Our poets, when one comes right down to it, are always saying: This is what happened to me. This is what I saw and felt. Truth, they never get tired of reiterating, is not something that already exists in the world, but something that needs to be rediscovered almost daily". --Charles Simic

    i'll quit rambling now,
    | Posted on 2007-03-10 00:00:00 | by twacky | [ Reply to This ]
      oh wow...now that was great...i loved it line by line you are a true poet...great job I loved it i loved it I loved it....I think it sends a messge and the message is almost perfect for this site because even I am one of those sad sorry suicidal [censored] always trying to make the readers cry or sad or something but this just told me and the rest of these sad asses a thing or two we needed to hear...Black letters forming black words
    Free-falling written dominos colliding
    Openly read to plant seeds of discontent
    Pornographic descriptions of misguided events......oh tell them again ......tell them again

    great write
    | Posted on 2006-11-27 00:00:00 | by L.L.COLLINS | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]