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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Echodots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: owlman23
    ASL Info:    29/m/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.58 - 71/75/28
    Words: 45
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 848
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 292



    Description:
       I wrote this after a vacation to Gulf Shores this past summer. I keep trying to add more to it but fail to find the words. So I'll say its done and post it. Make of it what you will.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEchodots
    -------------------------------------------


    Walking softly on the sands
    So as not to disturb the ocean
    I screamed into the darkness
    Because I felt the notion
    No echo followed my wordless cry
    The waves swallowed it whole
    Then spat they did upon my toes
    Their freshly lathered foam




    Submitted on 2006-11-26 23:57:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I really liked reading this poem. You've captured a moment. You, pitted against the vastness of the ocean, your cry cannot reach anything in them, they do not care, they just go on washing away with their waves, and spit your cry right back to you. At the same time, I feel that you are somehow cleansed and liberated in this moment. "Freshly lathered foam".
    I think it is fine as it is.

    Best,
    PH
    | Posted on 2006-11-28 00:00:00 | by Lerlim | [ Reply to This ]
      hey owlman... i like this...

    i found that there was great contrast in this piece... the initial tone of it was of quiet reserve.... you said that you walked softly as to not disturb the ocean but then suddenly there is a quick shift of tone- YOU SCREAM!!! i really didn't expect that- lol... but ah, nature sublime! you can not penetrate the awesome creation before you- instead you are the one penetrated and disturbed...
    i like this quaint poem... i liked the playfulness of it and the imagery of it was quite vivid in my head...
    i fortunately have been to gulf shores and have also walked the sandy shores at evening tide. its quite majestic... i was able to relive that through this piece... thanks.

    Sinthia
    | Posted on 2006-11-29 00:00:00 | by Sacred Sindy | [ Reply to This ]


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