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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: crimson echodots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: in shadow
    ASL Info:    22/F/ nightmares
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 581/277/103
    Words: 140
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 733
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 874



    Description:
       so much for it being the private disease
    now so subtly contagious

    lemme know what you think


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotscrimson echodots
    -------------------------------------------


    She wanted to be just like you
    So innocent in her attraction
    Following you step for step
    Just look at her and you can see
    How she idolized you
    Her hair, her style, her mindset
    She looked at you and you could do no wrong
    But you were careless
    And now she knows your dark secret
    Shes more than your shadow
    Shes becoming your crimson echo
    Matching you scar for scar
    A scarlet refection
    Her tears are overflowing
    They wash away the sparkle in her eyes
    As she follows you into your nightmare
    Shes your crimson echo
    Mirroring your every move
    Drop for drop
    Scar for scar
    All she wanted was to be like you
    Now its all she can do keep from falling
    Maybe you can live with your pain
    But can you live with hers




    Submitted on 2006-11-27 17:59:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I agree with everyone else, love it!
    -kt
    | Posted on 2007-10-11 00:00:00 | by picklenut | [ Reply to This ]
      Good poem...lol...i had to comment something so i could pm you...lol
    | Posted on 2007-01-18 00:00:00 | by armand07 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow this was realy powerful. I love the flow and the message behind this. It reminded me of when i was little and even to an exstent today, how i would copy people and follow them exactly and how my pains and sorrows where then placed on the making there life harder. It had strong emotions attached to it which made me think about what you had written and to realy be drawn into this. Great work keep it up!
    | Posted on 2006-12-22 00:00:00 | by FLHgg | [ Reply to This ]
      Hah I got that feeling you get in your stomach when you read something and think, "I wish I wrote that."
    That is too awesome.
    It's sad and creepy and a big dark cloud hangs over every line. (Everything I like in a poem )
    Annnnnd the descriptions are excellent.

    Fantastical.

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2006-12-11 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      "Maybe you can live with your pain but can you live with hers???"

    Bravo bellissima, mi piace molto il contrasto tonale che da anche pi prospettiva...

    I am such a nrrrd that this poem reminded me of Niki's character in the show Heroes... It's quite a good fit! !lolful!
    | Posted on 2006-12-09 00:00:00 | by Ceyx | [ Reply to This ]
      This has quite a depth to it, I admit...very good transition from shadow to shadow (mirror her percieved good of the other, switch to mirror the reality of other), and I like how it ends with that question...
    I think part of me wants to see more of what that relationship was/is (or was/is not), if it is just an afar off admirer or one closer, if that makes sense...altho I admit it could distract if too much is revealed!
    Overall...wow, excellent...!
    | Posted on 2006-12-07 00:00:00 | by kardia | [ Reply to This ]
      Ouch. Way to take my penname and turn it into something... That's a well-done poem. Astoundingly sad, in some respects: the world seems to have become a place in which we focus more on our own needs and motives than the needs of the people we care for.

    Very powerful, Shadow. Very powerful--and I can't find any spelling errors!

    --crimson echo
    | Posted on 2006-11-29 00:00:00 | by crimson echo | [ Reply to This ]
      Ouch. Way to take my penname and turn it into something... That's a well-done poem. Astoundingly sad, in some respects: the world seems to have become a place in which we focus more on our own needs and motives than the needs of the people we care for.

    Very powerful, Shadow. Very powerful--and I can't find any spelling errors!

    --crimson echo
    | Posted on 2006-11-29 00:00:00 | by crimson echo | [ Reply to This ]
      Ouch, so very, even ineffably sad...wonderfully done finely thought out and executed...not over stated (as these sorts of poems so often are)...you've hit the right, even perfect note...an excellent poem by any standard...bravo...bravo...bravo...Michael
    | Posted on 2006-11-28 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]


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