Fingertips on every inch,
Hold my dainty hands,
Cloud like lips to kiss,
Hair of silken strands.
Longing eyes to gaze upon,
Arms to cradle you,
Your breath on my skin,
Feelings long overdue.
Beauty to behold,
Forget not what is mine,
Love shared between us two,
Never to be left behind.
Touch me once more,
With hands of such strength,
Don't miss a single inch,
Caress the entire length.
Hold close to you the love I give,
I won't forsake you, I'll never part,
Keep me, forever your porcelain doll,
I can't hurt you, as mine is your heart.
| I like this poem. Very creative. I like the whole delicate porcelain idea. Like your about to break at any moment. Very Good Write :)|
|| Posted on 2006-12-01 00:00:00 | by Poetic_tragedy6 | [ Reply to This ] || This has potential though I feel it needs adjusting to make it easier to read.The first stanza is the best by far although line three doesn't seem to fit.|
<Fingertips on every inch
Hold my dainty hands
Cloud-like lips for you to kiss
Hair of silken strands>
Would maybe work better-just an idea.
Also I'm not sure I understand the porcelain doll concept here.Care to elaborate?
|| Posted on 2006-11-28 00:00:00 | by Asakura Cowboy | [ Reply to This ] |