Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Porcelain Dolldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: precious_poetry
    ASL Info:    19 F TN
    Elite Ratio:    3.17 - 137/145/67
    Words: 104
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 657
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 724



    Description:
       The last stanza is different in length, as to the rest of it. But I can't think of a better way to word it and say exactly like I want to... Hope its enjoyable to some extent...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPorcelain Dolldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Fingertips on every inch,
    Hold my dainty hands,
    Cloud like lips to kiss,
    Hair of silken strands.

    Longing eyes to gaze upon,
    Arms to cradle you,
    Your breath on my skin,
    Feelings long overdue.

    Beauty to behold,
    Forget not what is mine,
    Love shared between us two,
    Never to be left behind.

    Touch me once more,
    With hands of such strength,
    Don't miss a single inch,
    Caress the entire length.

    Hold close to you the love I give,
    I won't forsake you, I'll never part,
    Keep me, forever your porcelain doll,
    I can't hurt you, as mine is your heart.




    Submitted on 2006-11-27 19:19:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like this poem. Very creative. I like the whole delicate porcelain idea. Like your about to break at any moment. Very Good Write :)


    XoXo,

    }i{Renae}i{
    | Posted on 2006-12-01 00:00:00 | by Poetic_tragedy6 | [ Reply to This ]
      This has potential though I feel it needs adjusting to make it easier to read.The first stanza is the best by far although line three doesn't seem to fit.
    <Fingertips on every inch
    Hold my dainty hands
    Cloud-like lips for you to kiss
    Hair of silken strands>
    Would maybe work better-just an idea.
    Also I'm not sure I understand the porcelain doll concept here.Care to elaborate?
    Cheers
    A.C
    | Posted on 2006-11-28 00:00:00 | by Asakura Cowboy | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    126723

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Everyone written by poetotoe
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    This written by Chelebel
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Saying it to you with some gangsta shit written by Daniel Barlow
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bam (Awash). written by Daniel Barlow
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    "other people don't get that" written by Daniel Barlow
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Some of it written by Daniel Barlow
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    an explanation of how i was not good written by Daniel Barlow
    ... written by Daniel Barlow
    ME written by jjd
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry