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    dots Submission Name: Porcelain Dolldots

    Author: precious_poetry
    ASL Info:    19 F TN
    Elite Ratio:    3.17 - 137/145/67
    Words: 104
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 616
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 724

       The last stanza is different in length, as to the rest of it. But I can't think of a better way to word it and say exactly like I want to... Hope its enjoyable to some extent...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPorcelain Dolldots

    Fingertips on every inch,
    Hold my dainty hands,
    Cloud like lips to kiss,
    Hair of silken strands.

    Longing eyes to gaze upon,
    Arms to cradle you,
    Your breath on my skin,
    Feelings long overdue.

    Beauty to behold,
    Forget not what is mine,
    Love shared between us two,
    Never to be left behind.

    Touch me once more,
    With hands of such strength,
    Don't miss a single inch,
    Caress the entire length.

    Hold close to you the love I give,
    I won't forsake you, I'll never part,
    Keep me, forever your porcelain doll,
    I can't hurt you, as mine is your heart.

    Submitted on 2006-11-27 19:19:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I like this poem. Very creative. I like the whole delicate porcelain idea. Like your about to break at any moment. Very Good Write :)


    | Posted on 2006-12-01 00:00:00 | by Poetic_tragedy6 | [ Reply to This ]
      This has potential though I feel it needs adjusting to make it easier to read.The first stanza is the best by far although line three doesn't seem to fit.
    <Fingertips on every inch
    Hold my dainty hands
    Cloud-like lips for you to kiss
    Hair of silken strands>
    Would maybe work better-just an idea.
    Also I'm not sure I understand the porcelain doll concept here.Care to elaborate?
    | Posted on 2006-11-28 00:00:00 | by Asakura Cowboy | [ Reply to This ]

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