what does one do
when the vision of hope
has become impaired
by the exruciating pain of the heart?
where do dreams, aspirations,
and passions go
when they are expelled?
the loss of a dream is the loss of a soul.
in the loss of love, in the destruction
of my spirit i realized
how much i truly did love you.
i stood in the gap for you.
i lifted your hands in prayer.
with indomitable furiosity
did i defend your honor.
i would strut on my steed before you,
so that you would think me brash
but, i wasn't arrogant, i was cavalier,
yea, i was your knight in armour
and i was jesting for your glance.
i was enamored with you
to the depths of my soul.
when your gaze would fall upon me
it was as if the sun
with her paradoxical flames
were smiling upon me
with flames of delicacy and vulgarity;
i felt those flames and they gave me life.
if i was brilliant it was because of you.
if i was comedic it was for the sole purpose
of hearing your laughter.
i can even now hear the symphony
that is your laughter echo
as a mellifluous melody
within the depths of my now void being.
albeit, sadly, it is muffled by my sobs.
"in love, if love be love, if love be ours,
faith and unfaith can ne'er be equal powers...
it is the little rift within the lute,
that by and by will make the music mute,
and ever widening slowly silence all."
if i was anything, it was for you.
for the joy of having known
that i have made you proud.
that i was yours
and that i was all you wanted,
all you could have ever desired,
all that you could have kept.
my wit was spun from our union,
spun as gloriously as a spider
spins its web for the birthing of its young.
it was strong, and yet, it was as pure silk.
how i loved to clothe you in it.
you have always
wanted poetry from me my love,
well, here is your poem.
in perpetual silence
may you rest in peace.
your blazing knight
p.s. the words that are in quote are tennysons words.