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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: oopsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: supergirl_in_oh
    Elite Ratio:    1.67 - 29/122/52
    Words: 249
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 151
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1472



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsoopsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Fuck, I thought the safety was on,
    So this is great, I mean Im staring at bits of brain,
    One second he was there and now hes gone,
    Bullets, someones head flew down like rain.

    This was meant to be quick and easy,
    No one was supposed to get hurt,
    Im staring down at the blood, I feel queasy,
    I fall to the ground amongst the dirt.

    My thoughts turn to my family back home,
    I only did this for some money they needed,
    We dont even have enough money for a garden gnome,
    For a few pounds I had ignored someone as they pleaded.

    I often wondered what people would do for their lives,
    Facing the barrel of a gun people will say anything to survive,
    Their eyes dart at you like knives,
    Into the water Id like to forever dive.

    As my vision grows hazy I notice something unseen,
    There, in my shirt, is a bullet hole,
    My mind races to all the places Ive been,
    Where Ive seen bullets rip through someones soul.

    So here I am dying,
    This was just meant to be a raid,
    Blood starts flowing from where Im lying,
    These are the last minutes before I fade.

    It could have been different had I got an honest job,
    Doing a raid here and then isnt quite the same,
    Constantly using my skill, for survival, I rob,
    After all this lying I barely remember my own name




    Submitted on 2006-11-27 19:45:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Listening to Eminem while writing this or what? This reminds me of some of his songs.
    It was pretty cool. Great gorey imagery in the first stanza. Throughout the poem, it was as if the speaker was trying to justify what they had done. Another of my favorite parts was when you said that bit about how people will say anything when face to face with a barrel of a gun. Great line there, and a great piece of truth.
    It was extremely humorous that the speaker died at the end of the poem. I found myself laughing insanely...they can barely remember their own name, heheh. Loser.
    Anyway, nice job with this, I honestly enjoyed this piece....oh, and awesome sarcasm in the title.

    *tox*
    | Posted on 2006-11-29 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW
    | Posted on 2006-11-28 00:00:00 | by AngelinDisguise | [ Reply to This ]



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