Description: hey yall
i know this isnt how i usually write. dont worry there will be more of the others. just give me feedback on whats here and new> hope you like my different style
faith hope and love -------------------------------------------
come to me
come into the light
into the sun
i am your light
i can not come
the darkness surrounds me
i am a host for it
ive been here to long
i cant go back
the sun will brun me
the light will blind me
i will protect you
have no fear
i willl shield you
i am your armor
nothing will help
im inprisioned by the darkness
its derry cell
i have no faith
my hope has run dry
theres nothing left to do
i will never give up
you are my love
i wil bring the light to you
i will bath you in the heat
i have no point
my will is gone
but please dont leave
you are my silver lining
you are my hope
your my faith
your my love
my life
Now this is what I like in a poem, heheh, a little bit of compassion and darkness at the same time. Its very... grasping. Hope to hear more like this one, it was a great read, Shadow
I liked this piece, very intriguing and well expressed, the meter was up and you managed to keep the reader interested, while reading it, very emotional, sad and was very in depth going, it was very powerful, I liked it very much.
I liked how you put yourself in the darkness, afraid to go into the light, I liked the imagery, it had a certain forced playful intended ring to it,
There was alittle break in flow in some areas,
"its derry cell i have no faith my hope has run dry theres nothing left to do"
Oksy here you say u have given up on hope, and is crawling in the dark, and have given up trying to stand up or something.
"i will never give up you are my love i wil bring the light to you i will bath you in the heat"
But here you say that you will never give up. Is that a sign to sudden new courage.
"i have no point my will is gone but please dont leave you are my silver lining you are my hope your my faith your my love my life"
I liked the ending, very well written, and loved the twist of this,. like this "love" isnt there, then is, and is about to leave again.
Its was a very intriguin read with very lovely images, and was very sad in the same time..
Submission Name: faith hope and love
