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Beyond the hills I see a fire The smoke is lifting to the skies The ash blows from a funeral pyre A shadow in disguise And crimson rays, across the sky Like blood red tears crawling by Illuminate, the starlines. A wind is blowing from the West It perches on a mountain crest And looks upon an eagle fly Up with the smoke, out of the fire To trace a spiral in the sky Towards the light it holds so dire |
the atmosphere is alive. the sun is shedding tears and the wind is eagerly watching an eagle (note the pun. hoho). and the eagle has this spiritual aspect. or perhaps its sort of a fire. i feel that your title "an eagle rising" requires you fulfill its story. hmm you repeat the words smoke and fire... why i wonder? way to paint an image. the eagle is fizzling inside my mind.| Posted on 2006-12-02 00:00:00 | by Jack Pearson | [ Reply to This ] | This is really beautiful, and very visual. I just wish it were longer, but that's up to you. It just sort of seems like a kind of story, and I'd like to see more of it. | | Posted on 2006-12-01 00:00:00 | by Venia | [ Reply to This ] | A perfect imagery, insatiable dark is a reign I find this poem to belong to. The atmosphere is, as I'm sure you intended, a foreboding mystique. I see you used mythology! That is also one of the things I hold high and appreciate. i think you have talent. Please keep up with writing. | | Posted on 2006-11-30 00:00:00 | by Porcelaine | [ Reply to This ] | I really like this... it's an observation of nature... simple and plain but i cant help but think theres a hidden meaning to it that i'm missing... | Katana | Posted on 2006-11-30 00:00:00 | by Katana Ryoko | [ Reply to This ] | i like it, it does seem like an obervation poem, but well writtne. good write | | Posted on 2006-11-29 00:00:00 | by nipole | [ Reply to This ] | I really like this poem, especially the frist stanza...poetically it is quite excellent....fine use of rhyme and meter...overall very finely done...it is, pehaps too short....but this is not really a criticisim, rather just an observation...again, very well done...bravo...bravo... | | Posted on 2006-11-29 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ] | |