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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Take the Red for What it's Worthdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: silent_death12
    Elite Ratio:    7.94 - 1739/805/135
    Words: 150
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1292
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1173



    Description:
       been long enough since you guys read my particular lack of poetic skill? :) sorry if there are any typos, I usually do my editting and all that good stuff beforehand but I realized I might not have enough time for all that for a little...here's a rough idea of what i do in music class when I'm supposed to be listening
    (credit for the title== it's just a line from 'let it bleed' by the used.)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTake the Red for What it's Worthdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Mass production of creative intent,
    censored.altered.regulated and sold.
    how does it feel to be *so* different?
    (just as unique as everyone else.)
    Black and white- why search for shades?

    Dream of dimly-lit nighttime skies,
    starless.mystified.unnoticed and mundane.
    oceans colored with vivid red tears.
    redemption sought through gentle sin,
    blood atoning for ever existing at all!

    Breaking from a forced routine,
    controlled.dazed.expected and apathetic.
    Free only to be bound by thought-
    what price should happiness have?
    Can truth rightfully be taxed?

    What expectations does a new life hold?
    bliss.love.honesty; unconditional acceptance.
    The cries of the dead echoed-
    breaking the hearts of the unborn.
    Vain attempts simply won't stop.

    Never betray the dead.
    (secrets known aren't secrets kept.)
    Always trust the souless
    (what need have they to lie?)
    Don't try to depend on innocence.
    (just bleed until you can't appeiciate the red!)




    Submitted on 2006-11-29 18:51:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      "hang onto a dream that nobody wants, nobody cares anymore!?!?!" I know I've read this b4, so I'm wondering why the hell I haven't commented on it...: this is amazingly well written. "with all that you did nothing has changed" this sounds really good to mudvayne, and the other band I listed. in other words, I can see this being a song, it trancends just general writing qualties and embodies that of something from another realm not meant to be scene but fealt. awesome.
    | Posted on 2008-02-17 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
      Excellent. This is a superb piece of writing.

    I especially liked the begining.

    "Mass production of creative intent,
    censored.altered.regulated and sold.
    how does it feel to be *so* different?
    (just as unique as everyone else.)
    Black and white- why search for shades?"

    This is really cool. I love your writing style.

    Keep up the awesome work!
    peace.
    -Kamerin
    | Posted on 2007-01-11 00:00:00 | by Kamerin Brown | [ Reply to This ]
      wait wait wait

    "bliss.love.honesty; unconditional acceptance.
    The cries of the dead echoed-
    breaking the hearts of the unborn."



    and que the clapping......... *claps* there it is...

    that was quite some poem sweetheart I think you've done a great job holding flow good scheme, nice story, and very well done imagery I give it a 9/10, its pretty god damn impressive.
    | Posted on 2006-12-04 00:00:00 | by obsidiandreams | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes while the purveyors of commerce would like all of us to think alike, we still rebel, now don't we? If we all thought alike, selling to us would be so much easier.

    But you're not really in music class, are you? and that is what I like about this write. Pardon my opinion, being bored with the same
    sameness is fine for some things, but for life in general, I live by these words..

    give me variety of give me death! thanks for sharing,

    Nan
    | Posted on 2006-11-29 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      ouch i totaly agree that music class sucks at time, the first bit was the heart and soul of this piece.

    "Mass production of creative intent,
    censored.altered.regulated and sold."

    like damn whats the point of music if its not your own!?! and i liked the last bit alot too, it speaks of another world or universe thats much deeper and more fun than this one! the whole thing sort of has a misical quality in its self, were you maybe nlistening to music when you wrote it?
    | Posted on 2006-11-29 00:00:00 | by Saphire Twiligh | [ Reply to This ]


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